Lunch with women

I have had male lunch kakis for such a long time now, that it really felt strange eating with some of the ladies from the main office today.

We did the usual things - order, get cutlery and water, find a spot and wait for food. But there was a marked difference and it took me a while to realise what it was.

Women, sometimes, just cannot stop talking!!

Every pause must be filled. Every unasked question must be asked. Every curiousity fulfilled. Every point confirmed and re-confirmed. It did not stop even after our food arrived and we were busy eating.

And it made me think - am I like that?

Do my male colleagues roll their eyes in exasperation when I start in on them? Do I start in on them?

Ugh. I hope not.

Early? But it's past 7!

It really bothers me that people equate working late to working hard.

Yesterday evening, I decided I had it. My eyes hurt, my brain was drained and not a single thought was running through my head. I didn't see the point in continuing to stare at my computer, so I started packing my things to leave.

"You are leaving? So early?"

I looked the the time. It was 7:40pm. I get off work (technically) at 6.

"It's not early. Its 7:40. What do you mean by early?"

Without waiting for a reply, I walked out of the office.

This morning, I was the first one in. And Mr So-early strolls in at 9:30 and says, "You know the rest of us were here till 9 yesterday."

I was tempted to say, if you spent less time chit chatting at the secretary's desk and taking coffee breaks, maybe you can finish your work quicker and go home "early" too.

But I will bide my time. Does anyone else have this problem with going home "early"?

"What?", "Yes?" and "Yes, sir?"

My brother works as a project engineer. Recently he went to have a cup of coffee at a nearby coffeeshop with his Myanma site worker, Tun, and his German project consultant,Hans. Tun was the first one up.

Coffeeshop girl: What?
Tun: 1 coffee please.

Tun takes his coffee and moves aside. My brother is next.

Coffeeshop girl: Yes?
Brother: 1 coffee please.

Brother takes his coffee and stands aside.
Hans is next.

Coffeeshop girl: Yes, sir?
Hans: 1 coffee please.

Hans gets his coffee. My brother could not stand it.

Brother (points to each of them in turn): "What" "Yes" and "Yes, sir". Your coffee still 80 cents a cup.

Yes, colonial thought and prejudice is alive and well in our fair nation. At least, I hope it is prejudice and not bias.

Speaking English - Building highways in place of barriers

Living in Singapore as a member of a minority ethnic group, there are some things you kind of get used to. Not necessarily embrace, but tolerate with practised nonchalance, lest you get too caught up in negation.

One of the things you get used to is people speaking in Chinese. Not just to each other when it doesn't concern you. But also during business meetings, office discussions, 3 way shop talks, gossip and lunch prattle.

Sometimes it irks me. Sometimes I enjoy the anonymity. But most times, especially now I don't even notice anymore.

But today something happened that brought this to the forefront. I was in a car with my boss and his wife, Katherine, going to a corporate photoshoot. Now both my boss and his wife are typical Chinese business people, who are more comfortable in Chinese than English. In fact, Katherine mostly conducts her business dealings in Hokkien (sitting behind her has improved my knowledge of Hokkien by leaps and bounds.)

But, the whole journey there and back, not one word of Chinese passed between them. They spoke in English, haltingly sometimes, but you could feel the effort they were making. Even when they were discussing private matters, like the renovation of their new home, they spoke English, so that I won't feel left out.

And that's how you spot people of genuine quality. People who will put aside their own comfort zone and try to make someone else feel comfortable, even if it's by the simple act of speaking a common language.

I couldn't let such kindness go unacknowledged, so at the prompting of my manager, Joyce. I sent them an email thank you.

Hi,

I just wanted to tell you both that I was very touched by the way you both made an effort to speak English in the car on the way to and back from Dean's Studio just now.

I know that you both are more comfortable in Chinese, so the effort and consideration you expressed by that act means alot to me. Especially when you continued to converse in English even when talking about private matters - that really shows your heart and the lengths you went to make sure I didn't feel weird or left out.

I have been with 01 Computer for 15 months now, and none of my other Chinese colleagues have ever made the effort to conduct themselves in that way, even while socialising or talking over lunch.

You are both genuinely nice people and I hope your example will spur our people on to be as considerate with their non-Chinese colleagues as you are.

Thank you for your warmth.

And this was his reply:-

Which ever country I went to, I will normally share the good things about Singaporean and I do not like to use the word like “Singapore Chinese or Singapore Indian”. We should all work as a team to build the reputation for the country that is why we are different from other country. Well, we should not speak our own language also especially with you around as you might not feel good. Since we can speak English, why not share our joy & experience with you? The only thing is we do not speak fluent English but we can always learn from people like you. Glad to have with us as a family for the past 15 months and let’s work together to build 01 at a different level against our next nearest competitor. Thank you for your contributions for the past 15 months.

By the way, thanks for your below wonderful message and I have the confident that many of our colleagues will do the same eventually. Cheers……

Now, if only 10 more people thought like that, we could change the whole cultural paradigm of this nation and indeed be Uniquely Singapore.