Movie Review - The Changeling

What would I do if I came home from work one day and Hanan was missing? And 5 months later, the police brought me a boy who looked like but distinctly was NOT Hanan. And told me that I was to accept him because I am obviously traumatised and can't recognise my own child?

This was the preposterous situation experienced by Christine Collins (played dismally by Angelina 'I'm too cool to be distraught" Jolie), who had to deal with the grief of losing her only child, being accused as a irresponsible mother by the authorities and eventually thrown into the lunatic asylum for daring to oppose the ultimate authority of the state.

A lot of this movie, I really enjoyed. I loved the noir-ish treatment that Eastwood gave it, befitting the period as well as the terrifying and sobering storyline. The familiarity of the noir elements like the shadow of blinds across the faces, the stark interrogation room, and the symbolism of burning cigarettes and torrential rain at key moments of the film kept it a movie, allowing me to remove my emotions, which only surfaced when I remembered,"Oh hell, this is a true story."

I also really enjoyed Eastwood's cinematic narrative style, his variance of scene lengths and camera angles was a pleasure to watch, after the recent penchant by newer movie makers for shaky cameras and extreme closeups, which can be nauseating.

It pleased me that for once, the church was accurately presented as a force of righteousness and justice in a dark world. John Malkovich (ironically) plays the fearless and vocal Man of God who is not afraid to come against that powers that be for what he believes is right. I like.

So, other than the terrifying fact that this actually happened to someone, and that Angelina's posturing ruined the movie for me, this was quite watchable.

Heh.

Lunch with women

I have had male lunch kakis for such a long time now, that it really felt strange eating with some of the ladies from the main office today.

We did the usual things - order, get cutlery and water, find a spot and wait for food. But there was a marked difference and it took me a while to realise what it was.

Women, sometimes, just cannot stop talking!!

Every pause must be filled. Every unasked question must be asked. Every curiousity fulfilled. Every point confirmed and re-confirmed. It did not stop even after our food arrived and we were busy eating.

And it made me think - am I like that?

Do my male colleagues roll their eyes in exasperation when I start in on them? Do I start in on them?

Ugh. I hope not.

In line at HDB

I made my monthly pilgrimage to HDB Area Office today, to pay them a part of the thousands of dollars I owe and will owe them, probably till the day I die. I was 12th in line (I always count how many people are ahead of me in a line, don't you?), when this older lady entered the office.

"Pay cash, must queue ah?", she asked, to the general public. As we all fought each other not to answer, she repeated her question, this time a little louder. Finally some guy took pity on her and replied, "Yes, I think so".

Happily, she takes her place in the line (No. 15) and then, confronts a new problem. She sees that some people have a queue number for counter services in hand. While standing in the cash payment queue. This confuses her.

"Pay cash, must take number ah?", she asks the air. Again, greeted by stony silence. After a few more times, one of them deigns to reply - wrongly.

"Yes, must take." Me - !!!

"No, pay cash no need," I reply. "Just queue." She thanks me and then proceeds to recount her confusion to me, starting from her first entrance into the office. I listen politely, making minimal eye contact.

Then, the lady behind me starts. "So this is the pay cash queue huh? So what, if I had an appointment? I have a letter, do I still stand here?"

Finally, I lose my patience. "Sorry, I don't work here," I said, trying to keep my voice even. "I only know what I am doing, which is making a cash payment. And here is where I do it. Any other questions, you have to ask the staff."

(Which, when I am being more bitchy, would have come out as 'Do I look like I work here!?!)

The lady looks affronted and leaves the queue to ask the staff, telling me !) to hold her place in case she has to come back. She doesn't.

25 minutes, it's my turn. I go to the counter, pay them, and leave.

Never has standing in line amused, befuddled and annoyed me so much. My resolve to be nicer is shot to pieces. (Sorry A and J, I have failed)

Epiphany

It was eating away at my soul, these things that were happening at work.

And then, during worship on Saturday, I realised what was going on.

It all started when i said yes to leading the drama ministry in church. It is the enemy's way of trying to undermine my confidence to do it. What sealed it was the accusation of incompetency, which made me want to call R immediately and tell him I won't do it.

So it wasn't about the people at work, or even people at home. The whole thing was just a manifestation of what was hapeening in a spiritual relam. But I am hip to your game now, you devil you. I see what you are doing, and how you are using innocent poeple to do it. And you are not going to succeed.

As is teaches in Daniel, you cannot take the holy things of God and use them for unholy causes. Not without serious repercussions.

You have lost. Get used to it.

Chin comes to visit

Yeo Chin Yee, my goondu friend from CJ, changed her name, her place of residence and her hairstyle and I now only see her once a year, if that.

She is home for Chinese New Year and yesterday, we got together with a few other goondu friends for dinner, dessert and a lot of laughs and talking.

We decided to take her to Dempsey, because its the most non-Singapore place in Singapore right now. And they have a Ben and Jerry's, which for most of us, is reason enough.



But first, dinner at Dome. We wanted somewhere quiet, relatively cheap and quiet.



Here she is, studying the menu. She used to have the same expression her face when we were 18 and studying for exams.



And here are Chin and Craig, her lovely husband, clowning for the camera.



And here is everyone. From left, Sinclair Ang, Rhordan Wicks, Me, Chin, Craig.
Missing from picture, but supposed to be there: Joel and Kok Hong. We missed you guys!!!

Seeking Approval

I am not used to being hated.

Really, it doesn't happen to me very often. Most of the time, I am quite easy to get along with. I tend to like people in general and I think most of the time, they return the favour.

There are times when I get into High D mode, when I can be assertive, all business, no sense of humour and hard-nosed. And I do tend to rub people the wrong way when that happens. But once that season passes, I either meet up with them to apologise or find ways to make amends.
And most of the time, that works out well also.

So this situation now is strange for me. It's not pleasant, but at the same time, I am intrigued.

Someone once said that I was a person who constantly needed approval. Meaning, I need to feel like everyone loved me and couldnt handle it if people did not love me on sight.

But now that I am in my 30s, and a bit more comfortable in my own skin, I think I am ok with not being approved by everyone.

In fact, there are probably people out there whose approval I rather not have.

There is only one approval that matters, really, and He loves me, no matter what. And He is working on making me a better person everyday.

I just have to deal with the petty insecurities and remind myself that I am a work in progress.

Up or down?

This has been a really strange day, full of ups and downs, never a dull moment.

Got some really bad news, some moderately bad news and some good-depending-on-how-you-look-at-it news.

It's wierd.

I am still kinda high on the Obama inauguration although it has very little or nothing to do with me.

I am even more sure now that the decision I have re: my primary relationship is the right one.

I need to school my son on honesty and integrity.

More exits from my place of work and my feelings are mixed on how to handle it.

Sigh. I want this day to be over.

Brilliant ad series

My boss sent us these ads today and I think they are brilliant!

And so so so true.

:: flagrante delicia | leonor de sousa bastos' desserts ::: Mamma mia

:: flagrante delicia | leonor de sousa bastos' desserts ::: Mamma mia

This is what I'M talking about.




Chocolate tagliatelle with chocolate sauce. This is why a body like J.Lo's will always remain a dream for me.

Click here for the recipe. Leonor, I don't know you, but I want to have your babies.

A week of 2009

It is the end of the first full week of 2009 and I already can see what my year is going to be like.

1) Hanan
The boy is in Primary 4, which is a streaming year. Which for you non-parents and non-Singaporeans translates to "We are going to, in a matter of 10 hours of testing or less, determine if your child is smart enough to be worth our investing educational resources into- to shape him into a mindless drone who may not be able to find true love, buy a house or get a job; or if he is going to be one of the proletarian semi-skilled workers, who will forever feel inadequate, dumb and looked down upon." *deep breath here*

I think my evenings are for the most part going to be engaged doing school work with my child, and basically making our time together one of work and more work.

Hence, my second point

2) Arts and culture
I want to take a learning journey into the worlds of theatre, music and arts during the weekends. Museum and library visits notwithstanding, I want Hanan and I to grow to be connoiseurs of the arts and culture. Which means a lot more time spent out and about, rather than home and in front of the TV/ Xbox.

3) Drama Ministry
Really want this to take off this year. We have the talents, we have the hearts, and for sure we have the anointing. Just have to figure out how to set it up and keep it going. Not that I know for sure what I am doing. But God does, whew. But I am exciting about starting it, and delving deep into it. I really think it has great potential to be one of the strongest ministries around and the reach is just amazing. I am blathering now,but really, I'm pumped, and I want to go the distance with whatever God gives us for this.

4) Fitness and Food
Having started out with good intentions and some good habits this year, I hope to stay the course and continue. I think I owe it to myself to feel good and look good. For one thing, with all the highs and lows coming my way, I think I am going to need to energy to deal with them eh?

5)Making time for friends
I want to make more time for friends. Small dinner parties and such, now that circumstances permit such gatherings without fear or discomfort. Have had a few old friends come back into my life lately, and some new friendships I want to cultivate.
Now,if I can only stop everyone from going on and on about how far away Woodlands is. It really isn't, y'all!

And there it is. My year to be in summary. And if I feel like it, I might do a year in retrospect as some point.

Error message

Sorry, I wasn't able to establish an matrimonial connection.
I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addressee.
I'm not going to try again; this message has been in the queue too long.
This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.


Sometimes, an error message can really say it all. Now you know. It's official.

Movie Review - 7 pounds

I have been trying to write this review for the last 4 days, but it really is a hard thing to do without giving away the ending or the plot.

Nor is it easy to describe the deeply convoluted story in words. So much is conveyed in Will Smith's brillant acting - his sorrowful face, his smile which never reaches his eyes, his hopeless gestures, even the sadness of the one sad suit he wears everywhere. Even more is accomplished by the non-linear technique, which is really art imitating life, for which of us lives one day after another?

Its a powerful story, no doubt. Very few stories about restitution aren't. I think there is something in us all which warms to the idea of a man (or woman) trying to set right the things they have done wrong. ("My name is Earl" had a good run because of this, because the acting and stories were crap.)

However, 7 pounds leaves you without the key ingredient of the restitution story - hope of deliverance. We want the guy who is trying so hard to pay for his sins to come into his own, for someone to say, you have done enough, now its time for your rewards. In 7 pounds, not only does this not happen, you see the futility of it unfolding and watch in mind-numbed dumb horror as Will's character heads towards the inevitable.

And you care. You care that he has taken to road, and you weep with him. You care about the other characters, even those with less than 7 minutes of screen, because of the compelling way they drive the narrative forward.

7 pounds is a heavy movie. It will make you think about God, ethics, morality, imperfect love and mostly justice. And it will make you think about mercy, grace and what true love is about.

New year, Old year

As I start this new year (yes, 6 days late, but what is a calendar except an ugly thing on your desk preventing you from reaching your stapler), I can't help but think of all the things I did last year which were really cool. Here are ten of them in no particular order. Especially not chronological.

Started attending FGA full time.
Went to Hillsong Conference.
Was part of Redemption Hill, the musical.
Organised, planned and successfully completed the May Day Charity.
Broke my ankle.
Got through 3 bosses and one office move and still at the same job.
Got a new bible from one of my fave people of all time.
Renewed, revitalised and recharged a few friendships.
Lived to see the first coloured President-elect of the USA.
Made some important life decisions that will leave me broke, alone but probably happy.

This year, I only have one goal - get my driver's license! I have put it off long enough.

Hugh

Yum.

Movie Review - Lady Chatterley

After years and years of watching nothing but Hollywood (and the occasional Bollywood), it is good to watch a movie that actually uses mise en scene, silence and variations of shots to tell a story. Lady Chatterley was a deeply sensuous movie, not just because of the sex (of which there was not as much as you would think), but because it involved a lot of sensory narrative. Whether just watching the plethora of flora and fauna close ups that were shown for their own sake, or studying the wide shots of fields and meadows, the cinematography made the experience about smell, touch and taste as much as sight and sound.

I am sure the story is familiar to most - a young wife of an impotent and crippled husband finds physical release in her gamekeeper, whose rough and uncouth demeanour provide her with the ultimate physical fantasy.

Yes, don't act you like you all don't fantasise about raw, animal passion.

Director Ferran made use of all the tools available at his hand. Even the costuming (for which they won a Caesar) was impeccably used to characterise Lady Chatterley, from innocent to tramp and back to innocent again. Lush greenery suggested verdant passion, while the dead leaves of winter painted a visual of her loneliness. And of course the comparison of her husband's soft flaccid body as she bathed him was in direct opposition to Parkin's hard, roughworked torso as she watched him wash himself.

It did have its draggy moments. I thought the social class angle could have been developed further as well. But overall, it was good to watch a film that was made by film students for film students.

Movie Review - Australia

Australia ironically breaks away from the Australian form of cinematic story-telling and follows a strictly Hollywood formula in bringing this tale of a woman on a quest to save her late husband's cattle ranch from evil commercial forces. Set against a backdrop of WWII, dreamtime magic and of course, love (because every story must have love), the movie was a fulfilling experience.

The performances brought forth by the actors were absolutely beleiveable. Kidman was perfect as the English Rose who discovers she has gumption. Jackman, the penulitmate Australian bloke with a heart of gold and a body like steel - yummy. David Gulpilil, who has acted in what seems like every film every made with an Aboriginal theme, is amazing as the grandfather. And Brandon Walters was heartbreaking as Nullah, the little boy torn between White Australia and the ways of his forefathers. His deep soulful eyes and boyish energy captured my heart.

The movie had many poignant movies which entranced me. The relationship between Lady Ashley and the Drover was of course key, and for me, extremely cathartic. Especially the scene under the boab tree. That is one of my favourite screen kisses now.

The scene between Nullah and Lady Ashley where she tells him about the Wizard of Oz was also very moving. And thanks R. for pointing out the parallel between Wizard of OZ, and Nullah's dream to be the magic man of Oz. I can't beleive I didn't see it.

Hollywood influences aside (really guys, was the Oscar really that important for you to do that?), the movie was very well produced. Some loose edits and strange transitions were a bit jarring, but that could have been done by our censorship board, so I won't put too fine a point on that. But its a must see if you like epic movies.

Cool Christmas

Its been a long time since I have tried to accomplish so much on one day, and I feel extremele blessed that I got to. Here are some Christmas highlights.

Friends who gave me hugs, prezzies and generally a warm fuzzy feeling inside. The loot includeds cookies, chocolates galore, notepaper, handwritten cards and music. All the things I dig, in other words.

Hanan, who was so busy and happy opening presents, he didn't really want to talk. Which makes he kinda happy. That he was happy, y'know.

A lovely, much-treasured older couple who welcomed me into their family celebration two days straight because they didn't want me to be alone.

Hugh Jackman, who looked so hot in Australia, which I saw yesterday. Thanks for making my Christmas all that more memorable, Hugh :)
But seriously, go watch the movie. It really was a beautifully made film. Full review later.

And most importantly, Happy Birthday Jesus! Your birth has changed my life.

Soon it will be Christmas Day

After a month of hustle and bustle, preparing for a musical, buying presents, sending cards, meeting friends and generic running around like headless chicken, its time for me to stop. And think about Christmas and what it means to me.

Before I became a Christian, it was a day to go to church. Yes, strangely enough, my mum always let us go to whatever Christmas thingie my aunt's church organised. It was one way for her to get us out of her hair and yet ensure we were safe and supervised.

Then Christmas became about parties and seeing friends. I remember one season when Christmas always meant going to the Wicks' and basically hang out still they very gently told us to leave. And then of course, Christmas lunch with Joshua and the gang.

Then once Hanan was born, Christmas became more fun. Putting up the tree, hanging decorations, making gingerbread cookies, buying, wrapping and hiding presents, and then revelling in the joy on his face when he opens them.

With Hanan away this Christmas, it won't be the same, but I think I have had time to dwell on the true meaning of Christmas.

I am redeemed because of Christmas. And even if I get no presents, have no parties and don't see anyone, I still know I am loved.

And that's Christmas enough for me.

Opening Night!

Putting on a show
is like dressing up to go
To the Ritz hotel on gala night!
- Portia's Song, Redemption Hill


And yes, it is. Tonight 6 weeks of sleep deprivation, missed dinners and hours of gruelling singing, dancing and acting will culiminate in a 2 hour extravaganza as the first public performance of "Redemption Hill", FGA's Christmas musical production for 2008.

And I am thrilled to my toes to be part of it. There is nothing more fun that seeing a bunch of people, of one mind, come together to take the vision of one genius to a new level.

If you reading this are coming to watch us, then let me tell you you are in for an amazing night!

If you aren't, why not, man?!

6 lines

I am so tired.
I need to sleep.
My house is a mess.
The laundry pile is moving on its own.
I miss my baby.
Yet, I am happy, excited and fulfilled.