It's a fact
We like to talk about facts in our culture.
“Face the facts”
“As a matter of fact”
“The facts of life”
They all seem to indicate that if something is a fact, it must be true.
But that’s not true, and scientific fact finders will be the first to tell us that. A fact needs to be linked with other indicators that are real, i.e. exist, before it can be verified as truth.
But most of the time, we seem to think that if something is a fact, then it must be the truth.
Does the sun rise?
For example, it’s a fact that the sun rises every morning, right?
But that’s only what we perceive with our eyes. It is only partial knowledge, that which is witnessed by our position as a being standing on earth at dawn, and watching the brilliant colours change in the sky as we slowly see the sun peeking over the horizon.
The truth is that the earth rotates, and in its rotation, part of it is illuminated by the sun, and part of it is in shadow. The interim period where the earth’s rotation takes a section of the earth from shadow into the light is what we call the “sun rising”.
So is it a fact that the sun rises? Yes
But is it the truth?
But what is truth?
Sometimes, we can speak a fact into being the truth. As a mother with a small son, I see that almost every time I talk to my son. The words I speak influence him into believing that what I am saying is true, even though there is no evidence for it yet.
Let me illustrate this. Even before Hanan started taking guitar lessons, we told him about what a musical genius he was. His dad encouraged him to listen to and sing all kinds of music and I kept telling him what a great musician he could be.
When Hanan picked up the guitar for the first time, it never crossed his mind that he wouldn’t be able to master it. Within weeks, he learned chords that took me, in my teens, weeks to get even the fingering right. Even his guitar teacher was amazed at how quickly he picked it up.
Now here are the facts:
- Hanan has heard music before and can sing
- He may have musical genes he inherited from the father
But nothing there says that he is a good intuitive musician. It’s what we wanted for him, and we spoke it to him till he believed it enough and it came to pass.
***
Why are we sick?
The reason for this sermonette on fact and truth is this – my mother just started medication for diabetes last week. And when did she decide she had diabetes? Some time in March.
In March, she started complaining about how she is getting old (fact) and is not going to be as healthy as she used to.
Me: Why do you say that?
Mum: I feel tired after work, lethargic, don’t feel like doing anything after that (fact).
Me (laughing): Ma, I feel like that after work too. Maybe your body is just telling you to take it easy, that you aren't as new as you used to be.
Mum: No lah, I think I need to get tested for diabetes.
Me: Why do you think you have diabetes?
Mum: My mother had diabetes what, very strong family history (fact). Anyway this is the age lah, where all these things happen.
Me: ……
Her facts may have been correct, but do they mean that she should also have the disease because of all those reasons?
Every month after that, my mother went to test her blood sugar. All the time confessing how she is getting old, and has a history of the disease, and its time for something like that to happen. For 3 months, the doctors told her that she had a normal reading.
But my mother was adamant something was wrong. She went to different doctors and finally found one that could tell her that her blood sugar was high (although the reading was the same as it was with the other doctors). And finally it got high enough, and she was put on medication for diabetes.
Now reading this account, do you get a sense that she almost wanted to get the illness? That she went out of her way to procure the diagnosis and succumb to the odds? That’s how I felt, watching her go through this thing.
Now when she whines about not being able to eat chocolate anymore, or how much she loves bread and jam, and can’t have it, I don’t know how to react. I know she wants my sympathy, but I can’t give it because I saw how she sought the sickness in the first place.
The Healer
And I am angry. That I know that she doesn’t need to be sick, and I know she doesn’t have to accept the symptoms, but she wants to be sick. And I am frustrated because I know Who can heal her, but she doesn’t want to know Him.
And I understand why Jesus, toward the end of His life, looked at the city of Jerusalem and said, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart,
"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!
Matthew 23:37
There is a Healer, who does not want us to be sick. He said He is the Way, the TRUTH and the life. And He wants to gather you to Himself, Ma.
Are you willing?
Thursday, June 28
Sunday, June 24
Love Thy Brother
It's hard to be half-sister sometimes.
I have 2 brothers, one from my mother and father and the other from my dad and step-mother. The second one, I never really got to see growing up, because my visits to my dad's place were sporadic at best and non-existent at times. The reason: my stepmother and I didn't quite get along. She thought I was a lazy, spoilt rich girl who did not deserve the incredibly good father I had. I, of course, resented her for taking my dad away from us. Caught in this cold war was the innocent little Brother No 2.
So Brother 2 pretty much grew up as an only child. Sure he had an elder sister and brother in name, but for the most part he was by himself.
So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he feels some resentment now.
Yesterday was my birthday celebration with my dad, and both my brothers were supposed to come along. But at the last minute, my second one told my dad he wasn't coming. When asked why, he lashed out at my dad, "Why should I come to my sister's birthday, who wasn't even there for me half my life?"
Ouch. When my dad told me, that stung. It stung all the more because it's true, that my mindshare for this brother is minimal - only birthdays and Deepavali. I think about him if there is occasion to, but not otherwise.
So his comment is not false. It still hurts though. I am sorry that I wasn't there for you more, but I hope you will one day understand the circumstances that led to that.
Meanwhile, your resentment is justified. And I still have love for you.
I have 2 brothers, one from my mother and father and the other from my dad and step-mother. The second one, I never really got to see growing up, because my visits to my dad's place were sporadic at best and non-existent at times. The reason: my stepmother and I didn't quite get along. She thought I was a lazy, spoilt rich girl who did not deserve the incredibly good father I had. I, of course, resented her for taking my dad away from us. Caught in this cold war was the innocent little Brother No 2.
So Brother 2 pretty much grew up as an only child. Sure he had an elder sister and brother in name, but for the most part he was by himself.
So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he feels some resentment now.
Yesterday was my birthday celebration with my dad, and both my brothers were supposed to come along. But at the last minute, my second one told my dad he wasn't coming. When asked why, he lashed out at my dad, "Why should I come to my sister's birthday, who wasn't even there for me half my life?"
Ouch. When my dad told me, that stung. It stung all the more because it's true, that my mindshare for this brother is minimal - only birthdays and Deepavali. I think about him if there is occasion to, but not otherwise.
So his comment is not false. It still hurts though. I am sorry that I wasn't there for you more, but I hope you will one day understand the circumstances that led to that.
Meanwhile, your resentment is justified. And I still have love for you.
Friday, June 22
The Cold Freeze
A strange vibe came over the office once everyone knew through the grapevine that I am leaving. They are not supposed to know, because the official email has not been sent out yet, but everyone knows it all the same.
So there are weird happenings, like:
1) People smile meaningfully at you, without saying a word.
2) Conversations stop when you walk into the vicinity (always pleasant, that)
3) Colleagues who feel they should have been told start giving you the cold shoulder.
4) You stop getting cc’ed on emails. Your spam mail exceeds company email.
5) People watch what you are printing, photocopying surreptitiously. “Oh I am just here to get my stuff” and then walk away with nothing. Yeah, right.
6) Your desk gets cleaner and cleaner. No one dumps stuff into your in tray and you can have a good old fashioned paper throw. Also, you are handing work out left, right and centre, which will help with the cleanup.
7) People who are in the know slip up, and then look as guilty as heck about putting their foot in their mouth. It’s cute to watch.
8) Suddenly people come up to you and start talking about how they should spread their wings and try something new and what did I think. I see right through it, man. I should just come out and say, “Are you fishing for information? Cos I am a vault, baby, locked down!”
9) The IT department gets really busy around you. Things are being deleted, access is being denied. Our IT guys is really nice. He gave me a heads up on where some of my “weak spots” are. Like deleting all my MSN archives for example. Duh, I didn’t even think of that.
10) And finally, people who hate you suddenly look happier and smile a lot more. Well, I am glad I am leaving too, buddy.
It’s gonna be a rough week and a half. Hang in there with me.
So there are weird happenings, like:
1) People smile meaningfully at you, without saying a word.
2) Conversations stop when you walk into the vicinity (always pleasant, that)
3) Colleagues who feel they should have been told start giving you the cold shoulder.
4) You stop getting cc’ed on emails. Your spam mail exceeds company email.
5) People watch what you are printing, photocopying surreptitiously. “Oh I am just here to get my stuff” and then walk away with nothing. Yeah, right.
6) Your desk gets cleaner and cleaner. No one dumps stuff into your in tray and you can have a good old fashioned paper throw. Also, you are handing work out left, right and centre, which will help with the cleanup.
7) People who are in the know slip up, and then look as guilty as heck about putting their foot in their mouth. It’s cute to watch.
8) Suddenly people come up to you and start talking about how they should spread their wings and try something new and what did I think. I see right through it, man. I should just come out and say, “Are you fishing for information? Cos I am a vault, baby, locked down!”
9) The IT department gets really busy around you. Things are being deleted, access is being denied. Our IT guys is really nice. He gave me a heads up on where some of my “weak spots” are. Like deleting all my MSN archives for example. Duh, I didn’t even think of that.
10) And finally, people who hate you suddenly look happier and smile a lot more. Well, I am glad I am leaving too, buddy.
It’s gonna be a rough week and a half. Hang in there with me.
Tuesday, June 19
The wait is over!
Ok everyone, the moment you have been waiting all June for is almost here!
I will be on TV, Vasantham Central at 9 p.m. on my very own episode of Mudhal Payanam (First Journey) on the 30th of June 2007.
All you people who will be in Australia, England, US or somewhere similarly far away will be made to watch a repeat telecast when you come back.
Thanks to all those who kept hounding me with the question, "When ah?" , I feel so celebritied!
So once again:
When: 30th June 2007 at 9 p.m.
Where: Vasantham Central (That's the same as Arts and Kids Central for you "I don't do local TV" la di da people)
Who: Lil' ol' moi!
What: Mudhal Payanam
Starring: Nalinee Barrett, Muthukrishnan Pillai and various other very puzzled people in Sirkazhi.
Why: Because you love me, of course!
Excited much!
Saturday, June 16
Another Year
I apologise for the long blog absence, but really, so much has been going on, that I havent had time to stop and record stuff.
For one thing, I just had a birthday *blush*. Yep, I turned 34 on Wednesday, and spent it with Otrie and Hanan in Downtown East, in one of the chalets. It was good to take the time off to relax with my family and just enjoy each other (as far as that is possible!)
A few things that hit me while I was there:
1) I will never been this young again.
2) This will by far be the most challenging year of my life, as my friend said "the most mountain tops"
3) This will be year where more things happen, career and finances-wise, faster than they have happened in the past.
Hmm, on that note, I decided to not worry about how I look in my yellow swimsuit (like Big Bird), and have fun. So i went on every ride at Wild Wild Wet and Escape Theme Park! Now pple who know me, know that I am not usually a thrill ride person, so this was quite a stretch for me.
In the evening, we went to Mumtaz Mahal at Downeast for dinner. Firstly, an Indian fine dining restaurant in a place where flip flips and sarongs are de rigeur is an anomaly in itself. Then, we were the first customers and the only ones there for about 20 mins. So we had a good chat with our waiter, who has had the most fascinating career. Worked in India, Middle East, US and now Singapore, managing the most high end restaurants. He said he took this job because he wanted to slow down and have more time for his family (!) Which, you know, is as it should be.
I was supposed to go to work the next day, but the pool water set off my earache again, so I happily went to the doctor, and then happily went home. And slept all afternoon. It was the perfect way to end a great birthday celebration.
Here are some pictures
Waiting for our turn
How high is 15 m again?
Go Karting
Pool Fun.
The rest of the pictures are here.
For one thing, I just had a birthday *blush*. Yep, I turned 34 on Wednesday, and spent it with Otrie and Hanan in Downtown East, in one of the chalets. It was good to take the time off to relax with my family and just enjoy each other (as far as that is possible!)
A few things that hit me while I was there:
1) I will never been this young again.
2) This will by far be the most challenging year of my life, as my friend said "the most mountain tops"
3) This will be year where more things happen, career and finances-wise, faster than they have happened in the past.
Hmm, on that note, I decided to not worry about how I look in my yellow swimsuit (like Big Bird), and have fun. So i went on every ride at Wild Wild Wet and Escape Theme Park! Now pple who know me, know that I am not usually a thrill ride person, so this was quite a stretch for me.
In the evening, we went to Mumtaz Mahal at Downeast for dinner. Firstly, an Indian fine dining restaurant in a place where flip flips and sarongs are de rigeur is an anomaly in itself. Then, we were the first customers and the only ones there for about 20 mins. So we had a good chat with our waiter, who has had the most fascinating career. Worked in India, Middle East, US and now Singapore, managing the most high end restaurants. He said he took this job because he wanted to slow down and have more time for his family (!) Which, you know, is as it should be.
I was supposed to go to work the next day, but the pool water set off my earache again, so I happily went to the doctor, and then happily went home. And slept all afternoon. It was the perfect way to end a great birthday celebration.
Here are some pictures
Waiting for our turn
How high is 15 m again?
Go Karting
Pool Fun.The rest of the pictures are here.
Sunday, June 10
New beginnings (or what am I getting myself into?)
Here's a question.
Are higher pay, better package, better job prospects and lovely location good reasons to take a job?
What about longer hours, more responsibility, higher expectations and a handphone allowance that requires you to be contactable AT ALL TIMES?
This was the toss-up. But I decided to let God's hand guide me in this and am plunging in.
Will keep y'all posted on what happens.
Are higher pay, better package, better job prospects and lovely location good reasons to take a job?
What about longer hours, more responsibility, higher expectations and a handphone allowance that requires you to be contactable AT ALL TIMES?
This was the toss-up. But I decided to let God's hand guide me in this and am plunging in.
Will keep y'all posted on what happens.
Wednesday, June 6
Epiphany at Carl's Jr
I was not really searching, but there it was, on my special order burger. Suddenly, I knew what I had to do.
It's time to get my NOINO on! Shake my groove thing! Get on the scene! Be the MAN!
Heh heh.
It's time to get my NOINO on! Shake my groove thing! Get on the scene! Be the MAN!
Heh heh.
Monday, June 4
PC Show -The aftermath
Everyone who worked the PC show came in today looking slightly dazed. I think its the IT equivalent of post-show blues, where you feel like life will never be the same again.
It's been a strange experience, this show. Sure you have the bargain basement crowd, who compare the cheapest printers from two brands, everything down to the last spec and then say,"I will consider", like it's some lifechanging decision. There was this one woman who took out a magnifying glass(!), and compared a laser print to the offset printed brochure and kept saying "Hen Lan ah! Hen Lan ah!" (Very bad, very bad) until I just wanted to stuff the printout down her throat.
Then there are the absolute princes of customers, who do their homework before they come, walk straight up to the model they want, pick it up and go. These guys are such a pleasure to serve - they know their stuff and don't act like total buffoons over the price.
Speaking of pricing, everyone knows that PC show is where all the prices come down right? So why do some people insist on trying to bargain you down? "$159 ah? $150 lah! Why cannot?" The worse is people who tried and bargain the free gift. "Free 1B thumbdrive ah? why cannot 2GB?" Because we only bought 1GB thumbdrives, dipstick, and if you don't know how this works, then I can't help you.
Again PC show is where all the Indian expat/ software engineer (ISE) types come out in full force. And again, they come in various hues - of personality. This year I encountered 3 types.
Mr Sensitive
There are 4000 people in the hall, all talking. Music is blaring. People with mics are yelling out specs for 100 different products.
ISE: How much is this printer?
(Note: all the prices are printed in size 300 font and stuck above the printers)
Me (loud and clear): $159 sir!
ISE: No need to shout! you can just tell me nicely! Why are you yelling at me?
Me:....
ISE: There is no need to shout (walks away)
Me: Awww, are you going to go home and tell your mother the mean lady at the PC show shouted at you?
Mr Racial Loyalist
This whole exchange was in Tamil.
ISE (to friend): So costly this printer!
Me: Can I show you another cheaper model?
ISE: Oh, you are Tamil speaking! Yes, show me another model (Indian head nod)
10 minutes later
ISE: I will take this model. Even though it's more expensive than XYZ brand, I will take it, because you are also Tamil speaking.
Me: Thank you sir. you won't regret your decision.
ISE: So since we are both Tamil, you can give me an extra free gift, no?
Me:.....
Mr I'm too sexy for your printer
He walked into the booth like he was walking onto a yacht. And he IS so vain, he probably thinks this post is about him. (Apologies to Carly Simon)
ISE: Heh heh heh heh
Me: Yes, sir? How can I help you?
ISE: I am looking for a printer. Anything you can show me?
Me: Monochrome or colour?
ISE: Maybe we can sit down somewhere and discuss my options? Heh heh heh
Me: I am working, sir. Can I explain the options now?
ISE: Heh heh, here is my card. Maybe you can call me to discuss more, heh?
Me: Sure! I will call you.
ISE walks away. I crumpled up his card and throw it on the floor.
And that's all I have to say about that.
MOST IMPORTANT POSTSCRIPT
3 days I was at this show and noone showed up to show me love. The one day I was off (Sunday), my buddy Jared comes, brings a mocha frappe, waits an hour, calls me 7 times (which I didn't see, cos I was home listening to a online sermon with my husband)and leaves.
My friends are the best! I am sorry I missed you, darling, and after this, you have a place in my heart, always.
It's been a strange experience, this show. Sure you have the bargain basement crowd, who compare the cheapest printers from two brands, everything down to the last spec and then say,"I will consider", like it's some lifechanging decision. There was this one woman who took out a magnifying glass(!), and compared a laser print to the offset printed brochure and kept saying "Hen Lan ah! Hen Lan ah!" (Very bad, very bad) until I just wanted to stuff the printout down her throat.
Then there are the absolute princes of customers, who do their homework before they come, walk straight up to the model they want, pick it up and go. These guys are such a pleasure to serve - they know their stuff and don't act like total buffoons over the price.
Speaking of pricing, everyone knows that PC show is where all the prices come down right? So why do some people insist on trying to bargain you down? "$159 ah? $150 lah! Why cannot?" The worse is people who tried and bargain the free gift. "Free 1B thumbdrive ah? why cannot 2GB?" Because we only bought 1GB thumbdrives, dipstick, and if you don't know how this works, then I can't help you.
Again PC show is where all the Indian expat/ software engineer (ISE) types come out in full force. And again, they come in various hues - of personality. This year I encountered 3 types.
Mr Sensitive
There are 4000 people in the hall, all talking. Music is blaring. People with mics are yelling out specs for 100 different products.
ISE: How much is this printer?
(Note: all the prices are printed in size 300 font and stuck above the printers)
Me (loud and clear): $159 sir!
ISE: No need to shout! you can just tell me nicely! Why are you yelling at me?
Me:....
ISE: There is no need to shout (walks away)
Me: Awww, are you going to go home and tell your mother the mean lady at the PC show shouted at you?
Mr Racial Loyalist
This whole exchange was in Tamil.
ISE (to friend): So costly this printer!
Me: Can I show you another cheaper model?
ISE: Oh, you are Tamil speaking! Yes, show me another model (Indian head nod)
10 minutes later
ISE: I will take this model. Even though it's more expensive than XYZ brand, I will take it, because you are also Tamil speaking.
Me: Thank you sir. you won't regret your decision.
ISE: So since we are both Tamil, you can give me an extra free gift, no?
Me:.....
Mr I'm too sexy for your printer
He walked into the booth like he was walking onto a yacht. And he IS so vain, he probably thinks this post is about him. (Apologies to Carly Simon)
ISE: Heh heh heh heh
Me: Yes, sir? How can I help you?
ISE: I am looking for a printer. Anything you can show me?
Me: Monochrome or colour?
ISE: Maybe we can sit down somewhere and discuss my options? Heh heh heh
Me: I am working, sir. Can I explain the options now?
ISE: Heh heh, here is my card. Maybe you can call me to discuss more, heh?
Me: Sure! I will call you.
ISE walks away. I crumpled up his card and throw it on the floor.
And that's all I have to say about that.
MOST IMPORTANT POSTSCRIPT
3 days I was at this show and noone showed up to show me love. The one day I was off (Sunday), my buddy Jared comes, brings a mocha frappe, waits an hour, calls me 7 times (which I didn't see, cos I was home listening to a online sermon with my husband)and leaves.
My friends are the best! I am sorry I missed you, darling, and after this, you have a place in my heart, always.
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