Friday, January 23

Seeking Approval

I am not used to being hated.

Really, it doesn't happen to me very often. Most of the time, I am quite easy to get along with. I tend to like people in general and I think most of the time, they return the favour.

There are times when I get into High D mode, when I can be assertive, all business, no sense of humour and hard-nosed. And I do tend to rub people the wrong way when that happens. But once that season passes, I either meet up with them to apologise or find ways to make amends.
And most of the time, that works out well also.

So this situation now is strange for me. It's not pleasant, but at the same time, I am intrigued.

Someone once said that I was a person who constantly needed approval. Meaning, I need to feel like everyone loved me and couldnt handle it if people did not love me on sight.

But now that I am in my 30s, and a bit more comfortable in my own skin, I think I am ok with not being approved by everyone.

In fact, there are probably people out there whose approval I rather not have.

There is only one approval that matters, really, and He loves me, no matter what. And He is working on making me a better person everyday.

I just have to deal with the petty insecurities and remind myself that I am a work in progress.

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