The end of the innocence

The day has finally come when I can no longer protect my offspring from the evil in the world. He now has to learn to discern and fend for himself, and I only hope that I have provided enough of a fundamental foundation to help him with his decisions.

Flashback 1....

... we were on the bus, going for his weekly swimming lesson when Hanan turns to me and says, "Mummy, what does 'butoh' mean?" I blanch and play it down by giving a half hearted giggle and saying, "Where did you hear that, son?"

"The boys I play with always call me that. They told me it means, I am very smart". My heart bled. Not only was my son called a nasty word for the first time in his life, but he also fell for the evil childhood trick of let's-teach-the-dummy-the-wrong-word-and-watch-the-ensuing-hilarity.

I told him. With no embellishments, or sugar coating, I told my 7 year old what butoh meant, and what his friends were doing when they lied about the meaning.

Hanan went quiet. His fists clenched. The skin around his mouth tightened as he gritted his teeth. He turned to me and said in an icy, determined voice, "I am going to kill them."

After convincing him that homicide wasn't the answer and promising to have words with the kids in question, I wondered what to say to my son.My options were:-

1) Teach him the "sticks and stones" response.
2) Teach him how to give as good as he gets.
3) Introduce him to some new friends

In the end I settled for a combination of all three (after covering the spiritual aspect of the situation rather thouroughly, of course). I hope it helps him.

I do realise this means the end of one stage of Hanan's childhood. After this will come his own experimentation with rude words, and I hope he will be equipped to deal with it in a mature way.


Flashback 2...

... a 5 year old girl with long ponytails watches as 2 slightly older boys horse around in a playground, near the sandpit she is playing in. In the struggle, the elastic on one boy's shorts snaps and he watches in horror as his pants fall to his ankles, revealing no underpants and a rather small willy.

The other boy seizes the moment, to lock his hapless friend's arms behind his head while he starts up the chant of "kuku chiao, kuku chiao" taken up by the rest of the innocents. The victim fights back angrily at first, his face and ears red with embarrassment and anger. But at some point, resignation crosses his face and his body becomes limp,as the exhaustion of defeat takes over.

At that moment, his tormentor decides that this is no longer fun and let's the boy fall in a crumpled heap. Without a ringleader, the other kids also wander off.

I watch this and learnt an important lesson that day. I don't think I need to spell out what it was.