18 and Life

I am been here 18 months. In this time, I have gone from exuberantly thankful, excitedly employed, and raring at the bit to change the world, all the way down to morbidly depressed, completely unmotivated and why-God-why-am-I here.

I tried to analyse why the change and these are the reasons I have come up with.

1) I have completely outgrown the job I was hired for. Or the job had become too small for me. Once the initial excitement of setting up the processes and workflow is over, any monkey can do my job. Unfortunately I am that monkey now.

2) The people I enjoyed working with have all left. Eric, Glenn, Rita and now Joyce. There is no one left who is interested in pushing the envelope, pressing a few buttons or changing the world. And frankly I don't have the energy to motivate 30 lackadaisical employees or light a fire under their arse.

3) Marketing is getting boring. Or maybe I should say being a marketing excutive is getting boring. If I was the one exploring new markets, spearheading new initiatives, I would be more interested. But executing a marketing programme is about finding a formula that works, and repeating the formula numbly. Was it Einstein who said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result?

4) I need the excitement of a more diverse work environment. Diverse people, with different backgrounds, education, ethnicity. Diverse interests that can generate conversations about the world, current affairs, anything. I am tired of hearing Hokkien everyday. I am tired of listening to 95.8 FM. I am tired of pretending to be interested in someone's choice of TOTO numbers and how close they came to winning. I am tired of the blanks stares and blur looks that greet my jokes, puns and anecdotes. No one speaks Nalinee here. I might as well be Latvian.

5) I want to do something that impacts my heart as well as my pocket. Sure, the money is nice, and some may say why leave a job where you are paid whether or not you think? But I can't, not anymore. I want to be able to make a difference to the people I work with and work for. I have no desire to sell computer supplies anymore. If people don't get toner number Q5949A, my heart won't break. Honest.

Just so youknow, I am looking. Just at some places that I may be interested to work in. Not aggressively. But if something comes, you will hear it here first.