Things that make you go AAARRRGGHHH

Put it down to the difference in age, gender, culture or just general hard-wiring, but there are some things that I say to my spousal partner that drive him either to find a tall building (to jump off of), or to commit murder in his heart.

Here is just a sampling, based on what I can remember right now.

1. “Boo, can I ask you something?”
I never thought there was anything wrong with this until I heard this uber-lian say it to the guy she was wrapped around. Then I realized, that question is the most meaningless one ever. Having asked it, do you then have to say “Can I ask another question?” It also makes the asker seems like she has the self-esteem of a hunchbacked Spartan and the askee a tyrant, who won’t entertain questions and might beat the asker up! No one wins.

2. “Why you never..?”
Of course, starting any sentence with this phrase sets you up for a “I’m right and you are dog poo-poo” conversation. Why you never is also grammatically wrong, because you don’t really mean “never”, but just that one time.
E.g. Eh, why you never come to church last Sunday?

It’s apparently a Singaporean thing to use “never” when we mean once. But it drives my American husband barking mad. Never means not ever. Not to be used in sentences like “Why you never say you love me?” especially in a hyper-whiny tone.

3. Actually
Here in Singapore, we use this word as a filler, even if we don’t mean it, actually (You see what I did there? I used it as filler.) We don’t actually use it to add emphasis or to indicate that something is actually happening now, which according to Mr Webster, the correct ways to use this word.

So, every time I say actually and Otrie can’t spot an emphasis, or see that I am meaning the opposite of what I am saying, he gets confused. And when people are confused for no reason, they get rather bellicose, and try to pick a fight to deflect their confusion.

We have had so many delightful quarrels over this now that, actually, it no longer bothers me.

4. what, used as a suffix.
I think the thing that bothers him most about this, is the fact that he can’t do it right. Its so much a part of our patois, then we don’t even think when we say things like
“You yell so much also no point, what.”
“Correct, what!”

But to foreign ears, it sounds, well, foreign. There are no rules on what to use when. Same with lah, lor, meh and hor. No rules, unless you have been imbued in this culture. So from Otrie, you get gems like:
“I know its correct, but, lah, this way also can meh. What?”
Translation” Correct, lah, but like that also can.”

Next post: things HE says that make me go aargh and want to commit myself.