This is the sequel to the post about the things that make me go AAARRRGGHHH. And this time, the tables are turned and this is sampling of the things my husband says that drive me out of my mind.
1) And who is that?
By nature I am a friendly person. I make on average a new friend every week. And talk about him or her for days after.
Let’s say I made a friend. Let’s call her Pam. I talk about her incessantly for weeks. Pam this, Pam that, Pam said, Pam, Pam, Pam.
I only have to give it at most a 2 day break, and then I say something like, “Guess what Pam said?” And Otrie turns to me with this I-am-living-with-an-imbecile look and slowly says, “And who is Pam?”
Grrr. Rather than go through the hassle of reintroducing Pam into our lives, I just go “nevermind”, which may or may not lead to a discussion on how I am secretive and don’t share anything.
2) I am not the woman you are
Nalinee: Look, I bought new shoes! Aren’t they lovely?
Normal Man: *Grunt*
Sensitive New Age Man: Yah, they are nice. Go well with your nail polish.
Gay Man: OMG, they are FABULOUS! Can I borrow them?
My Husband: It’s not the pair I would have chosen, but I am not the woman that you are.
Nalinee: Wha…?
3) Just a second
Now, if you have heard of Indian Standard Time, where if a person says come at 4, you should show up around 5:30, this is even worse.
“Just a second” in Otrie-speak can lead into 5 mins, half hour, two hours later, or even a whole day. There might be longer ones, but I don’t remember. Love keeps no record of wrongdoing *tongue firmly in cheek.
“Just a second” is what Otrie uses when he either doesn’t have an answer or knows that I am not going to like the answer. It’s a time-buying tactic. But now that I recognize it for what it is, don’t think for a minute that I tolerate it. It still makes my blood boil. I want to break a clock over his head while yelling,” This will take just a second!”
4) I was watching that.
Picture this scenario. I walk into the house and the TV is on. Noone is in the living room. I call out. No answer. I peep around to the rooms. Noone peeps back. So I do what any good energy saving citizen would do – pick up the remote and turn off the TV.
“I WAS WATCHING THAT!” A bellow hits me a 90 mph, followed by a very irate husband bounding towards me. “I stepped away for just a second”, he says, indignation welling in his voice. As covered in Point 3, a second can be anything from 5 mins to 24 hours, so I have no way to tell how true this is.
Previously, I used to stand and fight. Now I just turn it back on and walk away. Saves me a lot of unnecessary bile in my throat that way.
I am sure you have similar experiences with your spousen. Share with me in the comments section and we will find solidarity together.
6 comments:
Just a second, while I figure out what to say.
Grin.
Haha, I don't have a husband, thankfully.
You know what? I think i'm losing it, the ONE thing, the ONEE thing that I kept thinking when I read your entry was "you don't get bile in your throat, it's contained in your gall bladder, and it's made by your liver"
Help. Me.
Just something interesting I picked up along the way.
Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this
statement meant about the character and nature of God.
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get
back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch
him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest
beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and
let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the
silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn
away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought
again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of
silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there
in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver,
but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the
fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be
destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do
you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in
it." If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has
his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.
Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is
watching over them. And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a
better person in the end.
"Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it
once."
Beautful. Thanks for sharing.
hi, nice blog and funny post.
im not hitched yet, but ive heard many such stories from friends that are.
on a seperate note, on behalf of my species i apologise, but we are what we are and take my word for it, we're not likely to change anytime soon.. :)
that aside, the tv thing? well, thats just a man thing... your husband could have been passed out drugged and not able to be woken by a marching band in front of the tv, but you put it off and he'll be awake in a split second..
like i said, we're strange - yes - but we cant help being what we are.
cheers...
Dude, no need to apologise. We ladies do our fair share of infuriating stuff. Like leave our hair all over the floor, and stand in front of a full wardrobe and moan about how we have nothing to wear.
Marriage is all about celebrating the differences, babe!
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