Monday, October 23

Meeting potential family members

" Boy! Come visit auntie for Deepavali ok? And bring your new girlfriend, we would like to meet her."

Dreaded words indeed. The subtext being, bring your girlfriend, so we can stare at her rudely, say a curt hello, gossip about her mercilessly in the kitchen in Tamil and then proceed to ignore her for the rest of the evening.

I remember the first time my husband (then boyfriend) went through this trial by fire. He was perplexed and slightly angry. But as time went by, he learned how to deal with it. And being Otrie, he decided to do the extreme and take it to another level.

He announced his presence in a loud booming voice the minute he entered the house.
He went around and shook hands with everyone and tried to pick up and hug anyone who was smaller than him (including some adults).
He ate with gusto, complimented the host on her cooking and flattered her to the point of embarassment.
He loudly called out when anyone stared at him, making them tell everyone what they were scrutinising, thus showing up the kaypohs and the truly malicious for what they were.

Basically his message was, "You can judge me, but you can't ignore me".

So Vivian, if you felt uncomfortable at our Deepavali gatherings this weekend, or like a fish in an aquarium, I understand. Put up with us for a while, we will get used to you and learn how to include you.

Or you can force yourself on us. I know at least one other person who has, and it seems to work for him.

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