Long time, no see

It's been a real long time since my last post, but things have been swimming along rather furiously and its all I can do to keep my head above water.

Still, thank God for busy periods, especially during this time when people are getting laid off left, right and centre. The busier I am, the more likely I will still be employed at the end of this year eh?

Its been eventful with so many things I can't share here. But I can share this: My mum just had the most rip-roaring 60th birthday this weekend. We had it at the SAF chalets in Changi and more than 50 people came. The food was awesome, the company great and people we haven't seen in a long time showed up so it was quite cool.

My cousin Shal and I made my mother this poster as a keepsake for people to sign on. I thought she will like it it. I didn't expect her to cry.


She had her dance with her husband, which she wanted very much, and really liked her diabetic friendly cupcakes, so I think she was happy.

Me, I was just freaking out at every little thing that didn't go exactly according to plan. Like I always do. :)

Servicing Water

How exactly does one service water? By providing a crystal decanter?
Or perhaps by releasing it back into the rainforest where is belongs?
Or maybe it will not be called servicing unless it was done effectively?

The mind boggles.

Good Friday

This is an open invitation to anyone who reads my blog. We have a really good musical segment planned and I think it will be an awesome experience.

Secondary School Reunions

There is a secondary school reunion coming up and I am a bit nervous about going. I haven't seen these people since 1989, when we graduated and from the email exchanges that we have had, I am not sure its a good idea.

OK, that's not entirely true. Some of the girls, I really do want to see. It sounds like they have grown and evolved while pretty much staying the same (if you know what I mean).

But the guys, I don't know. The conversations over email have not been so promising.... and some of them were pretty nasty, even back then.

So, should I go?

Being ill is scary

I am usually in such good health that when I do fall sick, it really frightens me.

I have been nursing a sore throat and cough for about a week now, but on Friday, my throat to swell up. I looked like a bullfrog, which is not good since I seem to be running into a second chin anyway. It was painful to talk, eat, or even swallow saliva. I don't mind the not eating, but how was I going to survive without talking?! :)

So in a mindless panic, I went to see a doctor, who prescribed a dose of antibiotics. The swelling is gone down, but man, it sure does still hurt. However, I think the worse is over and I am going to live.

Which I why I think healing is probably the most under-rated of God's miracles. People were impressed by Jesus raising the dead, but he healed more people that He brought back to life. And he continues to heal.

SO my healing is in there somewhere as well. And I am glad for it.

Theatre Review - Kumar, Stripped bare and standing up

It's been two years since Kumar's last show (proper show, not his weekly stints at some dive), and I was pumped. My friend has bought tickets the minute they went on sale and we had been talking about it ad nauseum. And as expected, Kumar did not fail us.

From the time he walked on through the audience to the simple curtain call, we were in stitches - enthralled, enamoured and entertained. Nothing was reverent - politics, race relations, gender preference, sexuality, family, friends.... if it had a punchline, Kumar delivered it. His impeccable comic timing coupled with the dramatic hand gestures drove home every joke, every point, every poignant moment. And Kumar can do more with a raised eyebrow than Dawyne Johnson ever could.

But like every Kumar performance I ever attended, his monologue had its share of pathos. The intimate details of his childhood, upbringing, passions and desires were juxtaposed against the backdrop of loneliness, fear, doubt and the longing for acceptance.

Ever the consummate performer, Kumar weaves the sadness into his mayhem, playing it down, making it palatable to an audience who are there, primarily, to laugh.

My personal little moment came when I was heading home after the show. We had gone for a drink (or 4) at pump room and I declined a ride home from my friends and was heading in the opposite direction towards the taxi stand. And suddenly a vision in bright orange togs and heavy stage make up appears before me. It was the man of the hour himself. Emboldened by the mojitos and a genuine desire to meet him, I walked up to him.

N: Hi, Kumar!

K: (looked startled and ready to flee)

N: I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your show at the Esplanade tonight (stretch out my hand)

K: (Looks a little releived and takes it) Oh, thank you so much!

N: No, Thank YOU so much. It was brilliant!

Kumar bows a little, with hands in namaste position. I walk on, hoping that i don't fall in with the vast number of "biggest fans" that he is accosted by, probably on a daily basis.

Cos I don't want to be just another fan.

Congratulations to Mr Miyagi on a brilliant job with the script. I am sure Kumar ad libbed like crazy, but I could tell that the material was well-researched and well put. Oh and thanks for the addition of Chinese jokes, we minorities appreciate it. lol

Honour your parents?

It's been a long time since my parents agreed on anything. Even after the divorce, they seemed to pride themselves on their dichotomy of views, whether in reality, or just in principle.

I often remember either my dad or my mum going out of their way to make sure the views they represent are as opposite as they can possibly get to what they thought the other might present.

So when both of them, recently, expressed the same view about the unexplained sore on my leg, I got a bit worried.

"Go see a doctor! Get a blood sugar test done! Your family history of diabetes is very strong!"

Almost word for word, their reaction was the same. And of course, they wouldn't be good Indian parents if they didn't end with the ubiquitous guilt trip.

"As a parent, i can only advise you. If you don't listen, there is nothing I can do. I just hope it won't be too late."

My day, being my dad, and heaps more prone to exaggeration and melodrama than I am, had to add his unique spin, telling me uplifting anecdotes of how he knows people to lost their limbs to gangrene etc etc.

Needless to say, I went to the doctor the next day and had a blood sugar test done.
Not because I had any real fear, but because of the rarity of my parents agreeing on anything.

Now THAT is surely a sign, no? The chance of it happening is one in a million.

Hanan in America - a blurry photo journey

3 months after the fact, I am finally getting around to some of the wierd pics of Hanan that he took while on holiday in the States. These will give you insight into the boy's soul rather than tell you anything about his trip.

He is kinda special, this kid.



I love this shot. I think it reflects alot about his personality. And that he looks so cute, of course.



Introduced to the joys of a bathrobe for the first time, Hanan immediately grasps the jedi role-play possibilities.



Ah, the classic orange slice in the mouth smile. Which of us didn't at least attempt this as a child?



Why is it that boys can't wait to grow a beard, and men shave everyday to get rid of one? And I want to stress that bubble beards come off much easier than bristly hair ones.



Hello, Grandpa! I ask you, what do you do with that expression?



This is a picture of Hanan speaking to me early Christmas morning. Note the umkempt afro. Note the delicious sleepy face. Note the slightly confused look in the eyes. (Wait, its Christmas evening for you and i just woke up?)

I love this kid.

God's Fairweather Friend

During lifegroup yesterday, it dawned on me that I am God's fairweather friend. I am happy to praise him, and pray and spend time reading my Bible when things are going well. But when I am faced with challenges, much like the many that exist right now, I tend to want to depend on my own wits to solve the problems.

It makes me wonder though. Isn't it suppose to be the other way around? People generally get own with their merry lives and tend to call on the Divine only when they need help.

To quote the inimitable Mervin P, am I retarded?

The days are just packed

My apologies to Bill Watterson, but really isn't a more apt way to describe the weekend that just went by. It's been a long time since I cramped so much into a 48-hour time period and I am really glad I did.

The Sentosa picnic on Saturday was just awesome! I love it when my new friends and old friends get along and get together and do stuff! We played frisbee, water frisbee, volleyball, took long walks, ate all the yummy food A prepared, got wet in the rain, luged and ate till "sakit sa babuy" .Thanks to Al. for teaching me that Tagalog phrase, it exactly describes what we did and how we felt. I am really thankful for the time spent with R. just talking, connecting and sharing.

Dinner at The Handle Bar was pretty darn fabulous too. All that chicken and ribs, we made short work off. And the dinner conversation again, so both deep, and inane, which happens. I generally find that when I am around, things move rather quickly from "the sublime to the ridiculous". And it seldom takes more than a step.

It was a perfect end to a perfect day.

Sunday, we had our combined service. It really is cool to see the entire church - English, Chinese and Filipino services all together. From the first worship song on, I was in tears. And just when I stopped, Aunty J came on to sing, and I just lost it again. God's spirit was in the the HOUSE! It really made me think about how much power the Church has when it puts all its talents together and submits its will to the Father's.

As Pastor Klein said, we were always meant to be a powerhouse, but we have been duped into letting our identity get stolen. Wow! That was such a word of truth. I hope that the awareness of that leads many of us to take back all that we were meant to be.

M & J's baby shower was next, at Ben & Jerry's no less. The ice cream was great, the childbirth stories alternating between terrifying and awe-inspiring. H had a ball, three scoops of ice cream, vanilla scented bubble makers and PSP game exchange notwithstanding. Me, I was just happy to be around all the haps people in my church. Soaking it in, wallowing in it and making it last.

Thanks all you lovely people who made this weekend so wonderful! I can't tell you how much you are loved!

Funny truths about life in small small Singapore....

One of my colleagues sent this to me via email today. It struck a chord. I wonder what the 1000s of foreigners living here think of us and our unique form of self and civil governance?

1. Nite - Sleep with air-con; Day - Bathe with heater on

2. Day - Cannot Wake up; Nite - Cannot Sleep

3. Cigarettes - Convenient to buy; not convenient to smoke

4. Chewing Gum - Can Chew, Cannot buy?? (Restricted to buying)

5. Smell Of rubbish besides letterboxes; Rubbish inside Letterbox

6. Private Cars - Cheaper & Cheaper to Buy, harder & harder to maintain

7. Education - Teachers teaching Less but expects students to learn More

8. High-tech barbaric singaporeans - know how to use state-of-the art equipment, but dunno how to use a simple dustbin or a toilet

9. There are quite a number of rich/poor in spore - They have Car, Credit Card, CPF .... but no Cash and lots of loans

10. Translation is needed between Singaporean Chinese and Mainland Chinese

11. Sporean never like to vote, but like to complain

12. Half Sporeans rushed to buy Hello kitty, but the other half busy killing stray cats

Random Post

I am really happy with the way things are going with the two of you. Not that I am hoping that something will happen. But if something does, then yey!

The highlight of my week has been planning for Good Friday service. I am pumped about producing it - not the work, maybe, but the excitement of it. Sometimes, I really feel like I am in the wrong job. The theatre beckons.

Kaya toast yesterday was a wonderful treat. It was such a simple thing, but it added to the wholeness of my day. Anyone know what I mean?

Have resolved to talk to people at church who are not like me.

I really think curly hair makes me feel more mischievous.

Everytime I watch him talk about something he is really impassioned about, I just melt a little by the fire issuing from his eyes. Everytime I think about how close we are, and yet how far apart, I die a little inside.

Haven't had chocolate today. But it is early yet.

10

It had been 10 years yesterday.
It went by unacknowledged by either of us.
I have nothing to show for it, except the one precious arrow in my quiver.

When I was young, I pictured this day being very different. Surrounded by our 4 (or more) kids, celebrated with our friends and family, before going off on a romantic weekend away, just the two of us.

My friends tell me I am brave, I am strong, I am sensible and responsible.
I am none of those things.
Just hopeful.

What went wrong?
Nothing and everything.
It was noone's fault. You can't fault where there is no effort.

Or may be it was mine.
If only I had been more -->insert adjective here<--

I am not sure if there will be a 11. But I know that whatever happens, my Father already knows what my days hold.

What a show!

What a wonderful show the Academy put up this year! The Oscars, always one of my favorite award shows blew me away, and there a quite a few reasons for this.

Hugh Jackman
1) Hugh Jackman hosting. What a guy eh? He is beyond a triple threat. That opening was amazing! And of course, it helps that he is so easy on the eyes. I am sure he was as nervous as anything, but he was so relaxed and confident. I thought he did a great job!

Screenplay
2)I think the way they presented the screenplay awards was fantastic. To introduce the presenters by way of script and then have the script superimposed on the scenes, really helped you see the process.

Acting Awards
3) I love the way they got past winners to present the acting awards. It really made it personal and touching and sweet. Rather than see a clip that is usually unrepresentative of the actor's real skills, it makes so much more sense to be lauded by your coleagues who have been where you are. I thought it a shame that the actors in Best Supporting Actors all knew they didn't have a chance against the Ledger legacy though.

Brown in even more the new black
4) The touch of Bollywood that Slumdog Millionaire brought to this year's show added the much-needed spice to a show that was becoming predictable and staid. Having all those colourful dancers, drummers and singers was really a spectacular way to present the music awards. And the fact A R Rahman won them both is the icing on the cake. His work in cinematic music deserves the recognition it received, although that song, by no means, is his best work. But still, go Tamilan!

The Clothes
5)I love watching all the beautiful clothes that the stars wear and how some of those dresses defy gravity and stay where they are supposed to stay. I also wondered why Penelope Cruz always wears a bridal gown, like she is going to be married right after the award ceremony. I loved Jennifer Aniston's dress, and Taraji Henson's, Angelina's green earrings.

Kudos to the people who produced this year's show. It was imaginative, creative, original and thoroughly enjoyable. Ignore all the nay-sayers and critical snobs - they are just seething because there was nothing worse condemning and they live to condemn.

Better than Silver and Gold

I have the best friends, no question.

I was majorly bummed out by what happened with work on Friday, or rather what had been happening for the last 8 months, and really didn't feel like seeing anyone or being social. I decided to throw myself a pity party, invited all the relevant people (i.e me, myself and I) and locked myself in my rooom, wallowing.

Didn't go to church. Didn't feel like performing for others when my heart was so heavy. Also the headache that started on Friday night was still lurking in my cranium and I was feeling cranky.

Then came a message. Where are you?

Then came two. Come have dinner with us.

Then three. We'll come to you. Just come out and hang.

I turned them all down. It was my party and I'll cry if I want to.

At about 9, I emerged. Tired of my own company, sick of the self-imposed confinement, guilty at abandoning my child for my own selfish gain.

Then they called. We are downstairs. Can we come up?

4 words that make me tear up just recounting them here. They drove all the way to the boondocks just to see someone, who may not even want them there, because they loved her and they cared. 2 young, single people, who could have done so many other things with their Saturday night.

And brought Ben & Jerry's ice cream - the elixit to get rid of all headaches and heartaches. We didn't do anything life-changing - just small talk, watched "The Nanny" and .... let me heal. I take it back - it was life-changing. It touched mine.

Thanks J and A. Your friendship is more precious than silver and gold. And I will treasure it forever.

Glad

Glad that chapter of my life is over and now we can move on. Of course, it's going to take some time to repair the damage left behind, but I think in about 6 months to a year, I can put most of it behind me.

Meanwhile, there are new and exciting projects to look forward.

Like the upcoming charity event.

And the new ideas for a junior series.

And of course the whole idea of managing the workload of 3 people in one fell swoop, while still overlooking what the rest are doing.

It's only just begun.

Ho Ender!

In local patois, I'm happy like a bird.

I finally got my hands on "Ender in exile", Orson Scott Card's latest offering in the Ender series.

Woo hoo!!

I am going to devote my nights and weekends to reading and re-reading this book. I am only at page 65 and have already teared up twice.

For those of you who have never heard of Orson Scott Card or the Ender series, wa lau eh. Why are we still friends?

Bulletin Post

I have decided that on the days I am too lazy to write meandering sentences that wend their way through my subconscious, I will do bulletin posts which basically gives you a quick update of what I am up to. Like a bulletin.

Current Mood: melancoly

Work: Busy like you won't beleive :)

Home: Same old same old

Currently reading: Ender in Exile (Woohoo!! Finally!)

Listening to: Been in a Don McLean kinda mood

Current physical hangup: ingrown toenail on right big toe

Would rather be: sitting at Starbucks, reading

Random things in February

I really like the "Swagga like us" song. It's got a really catchy hook. I went to check out the original "paper planes" and its got a really horrible message, but I think Kanye did something really cool with it.

**

I am currently reading a book called "Good in Bed". No, it's not a manual. Its actually a really good book about a woman who finds out that her boyfriend write in a national publication about the courage it takes to love a larger woman. I.e her.
The book resonated with me somehow, having been a larger woman all my life.
I remember when I was 18 (at my fittest), I was talking to a bunch of friends about some event, and someone said, "It's ain't over till the fat lady sings." And a really dear friend (he still is) turned to me and said, "Nalinee, sing!" And I think it hurt all the more because I never saw myself as fat, just taller and broader and stronger than the other women I know. That's when I first realised, that I can either be comfortable with myself or spend my life wanted to look a different way.

It's taken about 15 years, but I think I finally am there.

**

After being so sure of what I want, I am unsure again. It could just be a hormonal thing. And also it's coupled with other feelings of inadequacy and failure. But I just need to lean in to Him a bit more. It's usually when we start struggling that we need more support, yes?

**

Think I need to get my priorities lined up. I feel like I am spending too much time on non-proftable pursuits and have lost sight of my vision for this year. And its only February!!!

V Day Frenzy

One is looking online for roses.

Another asked me to help him choose lingerie for his wife.

Yet another is swooning in anticipation at what her boyfriend is planning.

And you don't bring me flowers anymore.

Movie Review - Elegy

I had to look up the meaning of elegy, I am not ashamed to admit.

Elegy - poem of mourning; lament for the dead; reflection of something strange or mysterious to the writer.

Given that the movie was based on Philip Roth's "The Dying Animal", it was strange to me that Isabel Coixet would adopt the name Elegy for the film.

But it was. It haunted me for days, this film. Took over my dream life for a while even. It was truly a tale of lament, of how we mourn loss, even when we cause it. And it defies understanding.

Quick Synopsis - David Kapesh was a successful writer/ college professor who is mesmerised by Consuela Castillo, whose relationship with him suddenly renders him insecure, jealous and unsure of what he wants from the relationship. He is plagued by the age difference, her perfect beauty and his fear that she will soon leave him. When she does leave him, he is shattered by her absence.

Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz were so believable as a older man- younger woman couple that it almost made me cry. I read so many reviews that talked about how they had no chemistry etc, but that just tells me that they don't have the personal experience. I do, and that's exactly what it's like. There is a degree of aloofness that comes from sheer disbelief that this beautiful, young woman/ mature desirable man chose you and is actually with you. I can't quite explain it, but it does happen.

My favourite scenes though, were not between David and Consuela, but rather David and his best friend George O'Hearn (Dennis Hopper). George is David's long suffering companion, "the Horatio to his third-rate Hamlet", as he so aptly put it. The friendship between the two men, the equality of their intellect, their subtle trust and dependency on each other, and mostly their ability to reveal their innermost fears and weakness to each other struck a chord with me. Seldom do you hear of men sharing that level of intimacy with each other.

The performances of the other characters were brillant, adding the needed layers to the Kingsley character. Patricia Clarkson was amazing as his booty call (or was he hers?), and Peter Sarsgaard as Kapesh's son who had his own demons was a pathetic character you just want to either hug or slap. But brillantly played.

I truly enjoyed this movie, it resonated with me in a way it won't for many. But having had the expeience at least twice in my life, I think Elegy is a true portrayal of the relationships that people feel most vulnerable in.

First Meeting

One of the things that I really enjoy(ed) about my job is the projects that I get involved in for the various departments. I am one of those wierd people who actually enjoy meetings - watching the human interaction, contributing ideas, and generally basking in the creativity that takes place.

Which is why I handled being left out of the loop by my previous boss really badly. Not only did she take me out of the projects and meetings I was involved in, she also did not include me in the new projects, delegating them to the her friends and people she hired.

That really sucked.

Now that she is gone, and they are leaving, I am really looking forward to being part of event planning for the Club and attending meetings again. I really get off on the human-ness of meetings. Sure, I do bellyache about it with everyone else, but secretly, I love it!

Is that strange?

Of course, its even better being involved in meetings in church. Programming meetings are really fun, with all the wacky ideas from the even wackier people flying around. And I can't wait to start my own drama ministry meetings. Ooh, those are gonna be outta this world!

I'm pumped!

Movie Review - The Changeling

What would I do if I came home from work one day and Hanan was missing? And 5 months later, the police brought me a boy who looked like but distinctly was NOT Hanan. And told me that I was to accept him because I am obviously traumatised and can't recognise my own child?

This was the preposterous situation experienced by Christine Collins (played dismally by Angelina 'I'm too cool to be distraught" Jolie), who had to deal with the grief of losing her only child, being accused as a irresponsible mother by the authorities and eventually thrown into the lunatic asylum for daring to oppose the ultimate authority of the state.

A lot of this movie, I really enjoyed. I loved the noir-ish treatment that Eastwood gave it, befitting the period as well as the terrifying and sobering storyline. The familiarity of the noir elements like the shadow of blinds across the faces, the stark interrogation room, and the symbolism of burning cigarettes and torrential rain at key moments of the film kept it a movie, allowing me to remove my emotions, which only surfaced when I remembered,"Oh hell, this is a true story."

I also really enjoyed Eastwood's cinematic narrative style, his variance of scene lengths and camera angles was a pleasure to watch, after the recent penchant by newer movie makers for shaky cameras and extreme closeups, which can be nauseating.

It pleased me that for once, the church was accurately presented as a force of righteousness and justice in a dark world. John Malkovich (ironically) plays the fearless and vocal Man of God who is not afraid to come against that powers that be for what he believes is right. I like.

So, other than the terrifying fact that this actually happened to someone, and that Angelina's posturing ruined the movie for me, this was quite watchable.

Heh.

Lunch with women

I have had male lunch kakis for such a long time now, that it really felt strange eating with some of the ladies from the main office today.

We did the usual things - order, get cutlery and water, find a spot and wait for food. But there was a marked difference and it took me a while to realise what it was.

Women, sometimes, just cannot stop talking!!

Every pause must be filled. Every unasked question must be asked. Every curiousity fulfilled. Every point confirmed and re-confirmed. It did not stop even after our food arrived and we were busy eating.

And it made me think - am I like that?

Do my male colleagues roll their eyes in exasperation when I start in on them? Do I start in on them?

Ugh. I hope not.

In line at HDB

I made my monthly pilgrimage to HDB Area Office today, to pay them a part of the thousands of dollars I owe and will owe them, probably till the day I die. I was 12th in line (I always count how many people are ahead of me in a line, don't you?), when this older lady entered the office.

"Pay cash, must queue ah?", she asked, to the general public. As we all fought each other not to answer, she repeated her question, this time a little louder. Finally some guy took pity on her and replied, "Yes, I think so".

Happily, she takes her place in the line (No. 15) and then, confronts a new problem. She sees that some people have a queue number for counter services in hand. While standing in the cash payment queue. This confuses her.

"Pay cash, must take number ah?", she asks the air. Again, greeted by stony silence. After a few more times, one of them deigns to reply - wrongly.

"Yes, must take." Me - !!!

"No, pay cash no need," I reply. "Just queue." She thanks me and then proceeds to recount her confusion to me, starting from her first entrance into the office. I listen politely, making minimal eye contact.

Then, the lady behind me starts. "So this is the pay cash queue huh? So what, if I had an appointment? I have a letter, do I still stand here?"

Finally, I lose my patience. "Sorry, I don't work here," I said, trying to keep my voice even. "I only know what I am doing, which is making a cash payment. And here is where I do it. Any other questions, you have to ask the staff."

(Which, when I am being more bitchy, would have come out as 'Do I look like I work here!?!)

The lady looks affronted and leaves the queue to ask the staff, telling me !) to hold her place in case she has to come back. She doesn't.

25 minutes, it's my turn. I go to the counter, pay them, and leave.

Never has standing in line amused, befuddled and annoyed me so much. My resolve to be nicer is shot to pieces. (Sorry A and J, I have failed)

Epiphany

It was eating away at my soul, these things that were happening at work.

And then, during worship on Saturday, I realised what was going on.

It all started when i said yes to leading the drama ministry in church. It is the enemy's way of trying to undermine my confidence to do it. What sealed it was the accusation of incompetency, which made me want to call R immediately and tell him I won't do it.

So it wasn't about the people at work, or even people at home. The whole thing was just a manifestation of what was hapeening in a spiritual relam. But I am hip to your game now, you devil you. I see what you are doing, and how you are using innocent poeple to do it. And you are not going to succeed.

As is teaches in Daniel, you cannot take the holy things of God and use them for unholy causes. Not without serious repercussions.

You have lost. Get used to it.

Chin comes to visit

Yeo Chin Yee, my goondu friend from CJ, changed her name, her place of residence and her hairstyle and I now only see her once a year, if that.

She is home for Chinese New Year and yesterday, we got together with a few other goondu friends for dinner, dessert and a lot of laughs and talking.

We decided to take her to Dempsey, because its the most non-Singapore place in Singapore right now. And they have a Ben and Jerry's, which for most of us, is reason enough.



But first, dinner at Dome. We wanted somewhere quiet, relatively cheap and quiet.



Here she is, studying the menu. She used to have the same expression her face when we were 18 and studying for exams.



And here are Chin and Craig, her lovely husband, clowning for the camera.



And here is everyone. From left, Sinclair Ang, Rhordan Wicks, Me, Chin, Craig.
Missing from picture, but supposed to be there: Joel and Kok Hong. We missed you guys!!!

Seeking Approval

I am not used to being hated.

Really, it doesn't happen to me very often. Most of the time, I am quite easy to get along with. I tend to like people in general and I think most of the time, they return the favour.

There are times when I get into High D mode, when I can be assertive, all business, no sense of humour and hard-nosed. And I do tend to rub people the wrong way when that happens. But once that season passes, I either meet up with them to apologise or find ways to make amends.
And most of the time, that works out well also.

So this situation now is strange for me. It's not pleasant, but at the same time, I am intrigued.

Someone once said that I was a person who constantly needed approval. Meaning, I need to feel like everyone loved me and couldnt handle it if people did not love me on sight.

But now that I am in my 30s, and a bit more comfortable in my own skin, I think I am ok with not being approved by everyone.

In fact, there are probably people out there whose approval I rather not have.

There is only one approval that matters, really, and He loves me, no matter what. And He is working on making me a better person everyday.

I just have to deal with the petty insecurities and remind myself that I am a work in progress.

Up or down?

This has been a really strange day, full of ups and downs, never a dull moment.

Got some really bad news, some moderately bad news and some good-depending-on-how-you-look-at-it news.

It's wierd.

I am still kinda high on the Obama inauguration although it has very little or nothing to do with me.

I am even more sure now that the decision I have re: my primary relationship is the right one.

I need to school my son on honesty and integrity.

More exits from my place of work and my feelings are mixed on how to handle it.

Sigh. I want this day to be over.

Brilliant ad series

My boss sent us these ads today and I think they are brilliant!

And so so so true.

:: flagrante delicia | leonor de sousa bastos' desserts ::: Mamma mia

:: flagrante delicia | leonor de sousa bastos' desserts ::: Mamma mia

This is what I'M talking about.




Chocolate tagliatelle with chocolate sauce. This is why a body like J.Lo's will always remain a dream for me.

Click here for the recipe. Leonor, I don't know you, but I want to have your babies.

A week of 2009

It is the end of the first full week of 2009 and I already can see what my year is going to be like.

1) Hanan
The boy is in Primary 4, which is a streaming year. Which for you non-parents and non-Singaporeans translates to "We are going to, in a matter of 10 hours of testing or less, determine if your child is smart enough to be worth our investing educational resources into- to shape him into a mindless drone who may not be able to find true love, buy a house or get a job; or if he is going to be one of the proletarian semi-skilled workers, who will forever feel inadequate, dumb and looked down upon." *deep breath here*

I think my evenings are for the most part going to be engaged doing school work with my child, and basically making our time together one of work and more work.

Hence, my second point

2) Arts and culture
I want to take a learning journey into the worlds of theatre, music and arts during the weekends. Museum and library visits notwithstanding, I want Hanan and I to grow to be connoiseurs of the arts and culture. Which means a lot more time spent out and about, rather than home and in front of the TV/ Xbox.

3) Drama Ministry
Really want this to take off this year. We have the talents, we have the hearts, and for sure we have the anointing. Just have to figure out how to set it up and keep it going. Not that I know for sure what I am doing. But God does, whew. But I am exciting about starting it, and delving deep into it. I really think it has great potential to be one of the strongest ministries around and the reach is just amazing. I am blathering now,but really, I'm pumped, and I want to go the distance with whatever God gives us for this.

4) Fitness and Food
Having started out with good intentions and some good habits this year, I hope to stay the course and continue. I think I owe it to myself to feel good and look good. For one thing, with all the highs and lows coming my way, I think I am going to need to energy to deal with them eh?

5)Making time for friends
I want to make more time for friends. Small dinner parties and such, now that circumstances permit such gatherings without fear or discomfort. Have had a few old friends come back into my life lately, and some new friendships I want to cultivate.
Now,if I can only stop everyone from going on and on about how far away Woodlands is. It really isn't, y'all!

And there it is. My year to be in summary. And if I feel like it, I might do a year in retrospect as some point.

Error message

Sorry, I wasn't able to establish an matrimonial connection.
I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addressee.
I'm not going to try again; this message has been in the queue too long.
This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.


Sometimes, an error message can really say it all. Now you know. It's official.

Movie Review - 7 pounds

I have been trying to write this review for the last 4 days, but it really is a hard thing to do without giving away the ending or the plot.

Nor is it easy to describe the deeply convoluted story in words. So much is conveyed in Will Smith's brillant acting - his sorrowful face, his smile which never reaches his eyes, his hopeless gestures, even the sadness of the one sad suit he wears everywhere. Even more is accomplished by the non-linear technique, which is really art imitating life, for which of us lives one day after another?

Its a powerful story, no doubt. Very few stories about restitution aren't. I think there is something in us all which warms to the idea of a man (or woman) trying to set right the things they have done wrong. ("My name is Earl" had a good run because of this, because the acting and stories were crap.)

However, 7 pounds leaves you without the key ingredient of the restitution story - hope of deliverance. We want the guy who is trying so hard to pay for his sins to come into his own, for someone to say, you have done enough, now its time for your rewards. In 7 pounds, not only does this not happen, you see the futility of it unfolding and watch in mind-numbed dumb horror as Will's character heads towards the inevitable.

And you care. You care that he has taken to road, and you weep with him. You care about the other characters, even those with less than 7 minutes of screen, because of the compelling way they drive the narrative forward.

7 pounds is a heavy movie. It will make you think about God, ethics, morality, imperfect love and mostly justice. And it will make you think about mercy, grace and what true love is about.

New year, Old year

As I start this new year (yes, 6 days late, but what is a calendar except an ugly thing on your desk preventing you from reaching your stapler), I can't help but think of all the things I did last year which were really cool. Here are ten of them in no particular order. Especially not chronological.

Started attending FGA full time.
Went to Hillsong Conference.
Was part of Redemption Hill, the musical.
Organised, planned and successfully completed the May Day Charity.
Broke my ankle.
Got through 3 bosses and one office move and still at the same job.
Got a new bible from one of my fave people of all time.
Renewed, revitalised and recharged a few friendships.
Lived to see the first coloured President-elect of the USA.
Made some important life decisions that will leave me broke, alone but probably happy.

This year, I only have one goal - get my driver's license! I have put it off long enough.

Hugh

Yum.

Movie Review - Lady Chatterley

After years and years of watching nothing but Hollywood (and the occasional Bollywood), it is good to watch a movie that actually uses mise en scene, silence and variations of shots to tell a story. Lady Chatterley was a deeply sensuous movie, not just because of the sex (of which there was not as much as you would think), but because it involved a lot of sensory narrative. Whether just watching the plethora of flora and fauna close ups that were shown for their own sake, or studying the wide shots of fields and meadows, the cinematography made the experience about smell, touch and taste as much as sight and sound.

I am sure the story is familiar to most - a young wife of an impotent and crippled husband finds physical release in her gamekeeper, whose rough and uncouth demeanour provide her with the ultimate physical fantasy.

Yes, don't act you like you all don't fantasise about raw, animal passion.

Director Ferran made use of all the tools available at his hand. Even the costuming (for which they won a Caesar) was impeccably used to characterise Lady Chatterley, from innocent to tramp and back to innocent again. Lush greenery suggested verdant passion, while the dead leaves of winter painted a visual of her loneliness. And of course the comparison of her husband's soft flaccid body as she bathed him was in direct opposition to Parkin's hard, roughworked torso as she watched him wash himself.

It did have its draggy moments. I thought the social class angle could have been developed further as well. But overall, it was good to watch a film that was made by film students for film students.

Movie Review - Australia

Australia ironically breaks away from the Australian form of cinematic story-telling and follows a strictly Hollywood formula in bringing this tale of a woman on a quest to save her late husband's cattle ranch from evil commercial forces. Set against a backdrop of WWII, dreamtime magic and of course, love (because every story must have love), the movie was a fulfilling experience.

The performances brought forth by the actors were absolutely beleiveable. Kidman was perfect as the English Rose who discovers she has gumption. Jackman, the penulitmate Australian bloke with a heart of gold and a body like steel - yummy. David Gulpilil, who has acted in what seems like every film every made with an Aboriginal theme, is amazing as the grandfather. And Brandon Walters was heartbreaking as Nullah, the little boy torn between White Australia and the ways of his forefathers. His deep soulful eyes and boyish energy captured my heart.

The movie had many poignant movies which entranced me. The relationship between Lady Ashley and the Drover was of course key, and for me, extremely cathartic. Especially the scene under the boab tree. That is one of my favourite screen kisses now.

The scene between Nullah and Lady Ashley where she tells him about the Wizard of Oz was also very moving. And thanks R. for pointing out the parallel between Wizard of OZ, and Nullah's dream to be the magic man of Oz. I can't beleive I didn't see it.

Hollywood influences aside (really guys, was the Oscar really that important for you to do that?), the movie was very well produced. Some loose edits and strange transitions were a bit jarring, but that could have been done by our censorship board, so I won't put too fine a point on that. But its a must see if you like epic movies.

Cool Christmas

Its been a long time since I have tried to accomplish so much on one day, and I feel extremele blessed that I got to. Here are some Christmas highlights.

Friends who gave me hugs, prezzies and generally a warm fuzzy feeling inside. The loot includeds cookies, chocolates galore, notepaper, handwritten cards and music. All the things I dig, in other words.

Hanan, who was so busy and happy opening presents, he didn't really want to talk. Which makes he kinda happy. That he was happy, y'know.

A lovely, much-treasured older couple who welcomed me into their family celebration two days straight because they didn't want me to be alone.

Hugh Jackman, who looked so hot in Australia, which I saw yesterday. Thanks for making my Christmas all that more memorable, Hugh :)
But seriously, go watch the movie. It really was a beautifully made film. Full review later.

And most importantly, Happy Birthday Jesus! Your birth has changed my life.

Soon it will be Christmas Day

After a month of hustle and bustle, preparing for a musical, buying presents, sending cards, meeting friends and generic running around like headless chicken, its time for me to stop. And think about Christmas and what it means to me.

Before I became a Christian, it was a day to go to church. Yes, strangely enough, my mum always let us go to whatever Christmas thingie my aunt's church organised. It was one way for her to get us out of her hair and yet ensure we were safe and supervised.

Then Christmas became about parties and seeing friends. I remember one season when Christmas always meant going to the Wicks' and basically hang out still they very gently told us to leave. And then of course, Christmas lunch with Joshua and the gang.

Then once Hanan was born, Christmas became more fun. Putting up the tree, hanging decorations, making gingerbread cookies, buying, wrapping and hiding presents, and then revelling in the joy on his face when he opens them.

With Hanan away this Christmas, it won't be the same, but I think I have had time to dwell on the true meaning of Christmas.

I am redeemed because of Christmas. And even if I get no presents, have no parties and don't see anyone, I still know I am loved.

And that's Christmas enough for me.

Opening Night!

Putting on a show
is like dressing up to go
To the Ritz hotel on gala night!
- Portia's Song, Redemption Hill


And yes, it is. Tonight 6 weeks of sleep deprivation, missed dinners and hours of gruelling singing, dancing and acting will culiminate in a 2 hour extravaganza as the first public performance of "Redemption Hill", FGA's Christmas musical production for 2008.

And I am thrilled to my toes to be part of it. There is nothing more fun that seeing a bunch of people, of one mind, come together to take the vision of one genius to a new level.

If you reading this are coming to watch us, then let me tell you you are in for an amazing night!

If you aren't, why not, man?!

6 lines

I am so tired.
I need to sleep.
My house is a mess.
The laundry pile is moving on its own.
I miss my baby.
Yet, I am happy, excited and fulfilled.

You are cordially invited to
Full Gospel Assembly's Christmas 2008 Production

REDEMPTION HILL

A story about a group of people who find the true meaning of Christmas in a time when religion has become illegal.

Dec 18,19,20
Time: 8pm

Doors open at 7:30pm
Tickets are available now. Contact me if you want some.
36 Prinsep Street Level 3 S188648
6339 1317

Hamlet (The Facebook New Feeds Edition)

HAMLET
(FACEBOOK NEWS
FEED EDITION).
BY SARAH SCHMELLING
- - - -

Horatio thinks he saw a ghost.

Hamlet thinks it's annoying when your uncle marries your mother right after your dad dies.

The king thinks Hamlet's annoying.

Laertes thinks Ophelia can do better.

Hamlet's father is now a zombie.

- - - -

The king poked the queen.

The queen poked the king back.

Hamlet and the queen are no longer friends.

Marcellus is pretty sure something's rotten around here.

Hamlet became a fan of daggers.

- - - -

Polonius says Hamlet's crazy ... crazy in love!

Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and Hamlet are now friends.

Hamlet wonders if he should continue to exist. Or not.

Hamlet thinks Ophelia might be happier in a convent.

Ophelia removed "moody princes" from her interests.

Hamlet posted an event: A Play That's Totally Fictional and In No Way About My Family

The king commented on Hamlet's play: "What is wrong with you?"

Polonius thinks this curtain looks like a good thing to hide behind.

Polonius is no longer online.

- - - -

Hamlet added England to the Places I've Been application.

The queen is worried about Ophelia.

Ophelia loves flowers. Flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers. Oh, look, a river.

Ophelia joined the group Maidens Who Don't Float.

Laertes wonders what the hell happened while he was gone.

- - - -

The king sent Hamlet a goblet of wine.

The queen likes wine!

The king likes ... oh crap.

The queen, the king, Laertes, and Hamlet are now zombies.

Horatio says well that was tragic.

Fortinbras, Prince of Norway, says yes, tragic. We'll take it from here.

Denmark is now Norwegian.



If this is your kinds of stuff, check out http://www.mcsweeneys.net/

Christmas What?

What is the true meaning of Christmas?

When R threw the question up yesterday during the programming meeting, I realised that I had actually been thinking about that sub consciously.

I always thought of Christmas as a time to get together with friends and family to celebrate the birth of Christ.

But since this way, my family is going to be away, I am thinking maybe not. Maybe its not about parties, or get togethers, or sing a longs, or present buying.

Maybe its a reminder of what God did. And yes, it still amazes me that He did it.

So as I fling myself into preparing for the Christmas service and the musical, I am going to remember that.

It's all about the promise. And how He kept it to me.

Sidewalk art

Having photo fun with www.photofunia.com.
Try it!

I feel pretty and witty and gay

Yes, I do. I think somehow talking to grouchy people and ungrouching them energises me. Am I really made for front line work? I dunno.

But I also realised that my pants are looser and my bra feels more spacious? Am I losing weight *GASP*? Quick, bring out the ice cream and cake! lol

I met a friend, S, on the bus today, who in the midst of all our bitching about work, said something real sweet to me. She said I inspired her to start blogging. How cool is that, huh?

Oh, and I finally had a chance to have a normal personal conversation with M today. She is actually quite nice leh. Maybe its just the company she keeps that I can't stand. Hmmm.

So I am gonna full on busy for the next month or so, what with 3 events at work, One Christmas musical, one little boy's room renovation to undertake.

Hey, maybe I should post pictures of Hanan's room as it looks now and you all can give me tips on what I can do to transform it. All on a shoe string budget of course.

Blessed Day

It has been a blessed day away from the petty politics of my office, at the front line of the Lexus Cup and I am grateful for every minute of it. Sure, people can be unreasonable, but I love explaining things to them and seeing their countenance change and become friendly as they understand and accept my explanations.

I acutally do enjoy front line work, especially when its something as joyous as giving away free passes. I think I will be singing a different tune if I was delivering bad news instead.

Meanwhile, although I have seen an itinerary, I am not sure if they are actually going yet.

We'll see.

Overheard on the bus

There were these two young Filipino students on the bus today. One was sitting in the front seat that faces the whole bus. The other was standing near the exit door. Strangely, neither of them beleived that this was inappropriate for having a loud conversation about justice and trust. Some of it was in Tagalog, but the important bits were in English (Kinda like tamil movies, where the hero will wax lyrical about the heroine in Tamil for 6 minutes, and then end with "Actually, I lowe you."

But I digress. So this conversation, highly personal is going on. Meanwhile noone else on the bus is talking. People have unplugged themselves from earpieces to listen to the saga unfold.

F1: The thing is, I don't judge you. Why you do judge me?

F2: (Rapid fire tagalog followed by:) I am not judging you. I just need you to listen and trust me.

F1: But I don't judge you. Why are you judging?

F2: It's not about judging. Its about caring for your friends.

F1: But why do you judge? I don't judge.

(Note: F1 only had one line. But boy did he work it!)

And on and on it went. From Woodlands to Yishun MRT. Then I had to get off, so I don't know how it ended.

Did F1 feel accepted in the end for who he is?

Did F2 get the trust he so badly needed from his friend?

If anyone who was on the bus is reading this, let me know how it pans out.

13 days

It hit me last night, or maybe this morning, that I have Hanan for a mere 13 days more before he goes to the States with his dad for 6 long weeks.

6 weeks. Thats 42 days. Slightly more than 1000 hours.

This is the longest I will ever be separated from him. The last time was when I went to Sydney for 7 days. But that was different. That was me going away, leaving Hanan at home, not just with his Dad, but with my mum and aunts and people I trust to keep him safe. He was in a familiar environment, confident and secure.

But this! He leaves the safety of home and travels thousands of miles away, with only dad for company. He will be living with people he hardly knows, with habits he is not used to, a climate he knows nothing about. Granted, they are his dad's folks but still...

It especially bothers me that he will be under the charge of an absent-minded adult, who is not known for his attention to detail. I am afraid that Hanan will not brush his teeth, drink enough water or run a comb through his hair the whole time he is away.

13 days to instil good hourseguest habits, proper hygeine and the "don't talk to strangers" drill.

AAArgh!!!

Hanan's Halloween HorrorMask

This was Hanan's Halloween look this year. It is a werewolf, in case you don't see it. This look was brought to you by Hanan's dad, Otrie Barrett, who I think did a bang up job.

The two buckets, incidentally, were filled with toys which kept Hanan amused for about 24 hours and candies, which had him on a sugar rush all weekend.

We peeled him off the walls for school on Monday.

Theatre Review - Avenue Q

"It sucks to be me."

For at least two weeks before Avenue Q, I had to listen to my colleague sing this one line over and over. So the musical opened this song, I couldn't help but smile, then giggle, then all out laugh at the irony of it.

Yes,it sucks to be you. But its only for now.

That's pretty much the gist of the musical. This Rent-meets-Sesame Street Braodway hit was probably a lot more edgy before being politically correct became our society's all-consuming passion.

But the shennanigans of the puppets were definitely overshadowed by the pure talent of the human cast. Especially Kate Monster and Lucy the Slut's human. And Christmas Eve - My, that woman can sing.

I hope J and A enjoyed it as much as I did. The irreverent humour and keen wit are just what we need in this tremulous and sombre times.

Class Act

Remarks from Senator John McCain
November 4, 2008

Thank you. Thank you, my friends. Thank you for coming here on this beautiful Arizona evening.

My friends, we have -- we have come to the end of a long journey. The American people have spoken, and they have spoken clearly. A little while ago, I had the honor of calling Senator Barack Obama to congratulate him on being elected the next president of the country that we both love.

In a contest as long and difficult as this campaign has been, his success alone commands my respect for his ability and perseverance. But that he managed to do so by inspiring the hopes of so many millions of Americans who had once wrongly believed that they had little at stake or little influence in the election of an American president is something I deeply admire and commend him for achieving.

This is an historic election, and I recognize the special significance it has for African-Americans and for the special pride that must be theirs tonight.

I've always believed that America offers opportunities to all who have the industry and will to seize it. Senator Obama believes that, too. But we both recognize that though we have come a long way from the old injustices that once stained our nation's reputation and denied some Americans the full blessings of American citizenship, the memory of them still had the power to wound.

A century ago, President Theodore Roosevelt's invitation of Booker T. Washington to dine at the White House was taken as an outrage in many quarters. America today is a world away from the cruel and prideful bigotry of that time. There is no better evidence of this than the election of an African American to the presidency of the United States. Let there be no reason now for any American to fail to cherish their citizenship in this, the greatest nation on Earth.

Senator Obama has achieved a great thing for himself and for his country. I applaud him for it, and offer in my sincere sympathy that his beloved grandmother did not live to see this day, though our faith assures us she is at rest in the presence of her creator and so very proud of the good man she helped raise.

Senator Obama and I have had and argued our differences, and he has prevailed. No doubt many of those differences remain. These are difficult times for our country, and I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face.

I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together, to find the necessary compromises, to bridge our differences, and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.

Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. And please believe me when I say no association has ever meant more to me than that.

It is natural tonight to feel some disappointment, but tomorrow we must move beyond it and work together to get our country moving again. We fought as hard as we could.

And though we fell short, the failure is mine, not yours.

I am so deeply grateful to all of you for the great honor of your support and for all you have done for me. I wish the outcome had been different, my friends. The road was a difficult one from the outset. But your support and friendship never wavered. I cannot adequately express how deeply indebted I am to you.

I am especially grateful to my wife, Cindy, my children, my dear mother and all my family and to the many old and dear friends who have stood by my side through the many ups and downs of this long campaign. I have always been a fortunate man, and never more so for the love and encouragement you have given me.

You know, campaigns are often harder on a candidate's family than on the candidate, and that's been true in this campaign. All I can offer in compensation is my love and gratitude, and the promise of more peaceful years ahead.

I am also, of course, very thankful to Governor Sarah Palin, one of the best campaigners I have ever seen and an impressive new voice in our party for reform and the principles that have always been our greatest strength. Her husband Todd and their five beautiful children with their tireless dedication to our cause, and the courage and grace they showed in the rough-and-tumble of a presidential campaign. We can all look forward with great interest to her future service to Alaska, the Republican Party and our country.

To all my campaign comrades, from Rick Davis and Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter, to every last volunteer who fought so hard and valiantly month after month in what at times seemed to be the most challenged campaign in modern times, thank you so much. A lost election will never mean more to me than the privilege of your faith and friendship.

I don't know what more we could have done to try to win this election. I'll leave that to others to determine. Every candidate makes mistakes, and I'm sure I made my share of them. But I won't spend a moment of the future regretting what might have been.

This campaign was and will remain the great honor of my life. And my heart is filled with nothing but gratitude for the experience and to the American people for giving me a fair hearing before deciding that Senator Obama and my old friend Senator Joe Biden should have the honor of leading us for the next four years.

I would not be an American worthy of the name, should I regret a fate that has allowed me the extraordinary privilege of serving this country for a half a century. Today, I was a candidate for the highest office in the country I love so much. And tonight, I remain her servant. That is blessing enough for anyone and I thank the people of Arizona for it.

Tonight, more than any night, I hold in my heart nothing but love for this country and for all its citizens, whether they supported me or Senator Obama, I wish Godspeed to the man who was my former opponent and will be my president.

And I call on all Americans, as I have often in this campaign, to not despair of our present difficulties but to believe always in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here.

Americans never quit. We never surrender. We never hide from history, we make history.

Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless America. Thank you all very much.

We've only just begun.

Congratulatons Mr Obama!

You have won the US Presidency after 2 years of unchanging commitment to your campaign. You have stayed with your people, spoken your mind (sometimes to your detriment), stayed loyal to your friends, were unafriad to abandon those who let you down, and shown us all how a good looking, charming man plays his crowd.

You know Mr Obama, you remind me of another US President. A young senator from Little Rock, who, if I remember correctly was best rememebered for playing his saxophone on his campaign trail to his adoring fans. Then was till he got the White House, after which he was remembered for other kinds of play that we won't mention here.

Mr Obama, getting to the White House is fine. Being against all the right things and for all the right things is great. Being able to express yourself clearly, coherantly and with commitment is fabulous. But as some point, you will need to stand and deliver.

It bothered me, Sir, that you said you may not be able to do it in one year or one term (although I beleive you used the royal we). You see, we are kinda expecting you to now. Unlike your poor predecessor who was literally thrown into a fight or run situation with 9-11, you may have all the time in the world to implement change. (At least I pray that you do). But telling us, right after the big win, not to expect anything to happen for 4 years, it just won't do.

Mr Obama, I hope you lean in on the Lord you profess to worship when things get rough. When people realise change is painful. That there is ripping and tearing involved. When they see that their lives have to be altered whether they like it or not. I hope you depend on the Unchanging One, when that happens. Cos you won't be Mr Popular anymore. You will be the guy who acted too fast, didn't act fast enough, or did the wrong thing. And the people don't forgive easy. But God does. Seek Him diligently.

Avenue Q

Watching Avenue Q tomorrow. I can't wait.

I remember a time when a production like this would never have graced our fair shores for its political incorrectness.

We have come a long way.

Full review later.

Book Review - Keeper of Dreams

I cannot express my joy at finding a copy of the collection of short stories by Orson Scott Card in the Woodlands Regional Library. I brought it home and devoured it about 4 days. All 22 stories.

I really loved the fact that Card released this anthology with a little bit of everything - a little sci fi, a little fantasy, a little drama, a little terror (as opposed to Horror, which is sick. Terror just terrifies you). And of course there are some Mormon stories, which was as much human interest as religious, so they were actually fun to read. I love the special appearances of Alvin Maker and Mack Street, characters from Card's previous novels.

Card is the consummate story-teller. His stories are meant to be read out loud, with a full cast of voices and sound effects. I can see most of them as great stage productions. I love that he makes his characters talk like regular people, even when the most irregular things are happening to them.

Read this book, people! It will entertain, sure, but it will make you think. My days have been filled with the wonderment of "what if" ever since.

Random friendship photos

There was quite alot of friendship moments in October, although I never got round to blogging about them. But isn't friendship meant to be experienced and not documented?

It was the Joshua's birthday and the goondu asked me to take him to a champagne brunch, only to realise after we got there, that champagne gives him a headache. !!! But we had a really good brunch at Oscar's. And the three boys really bonded.
(NB: Elgin, despite the way he looks, did not have a drop of alcohol)


This is Hanan and Remy living it up at the Explorer Kids thingy at Downtown East. Those two boys look so alike its scary, and they both have great easy going personalities, making them absolutely fun to hang out with.

Or the funny thing is, on our way back, they were both protesting about how un-tired they were and how I was a meanie for making them stop. And then, 5 mins later, they were like this:


And finally, our department has a dinner outing paid for by the company. We went to Ellensbrough Market Cafe where most of us ate our body weight in Durian paste. It was good!

Gone

It was only on Sunday that he was telling me that his oldest daughter just started university and he had taken a 10 grand loan against his credit card for her tuition.
He shared how he laughingly told his daughter that she knows what to do when she starts working, and that he was planning to pay the loan off with his year end bonus.

And yesterday, he was let go. Just like that. No warning, no apology.

He was one of the most hardworking guys I have met, who managed to stay on top of both the operations and the paperwork. Sure, we had our differences, but he was also professional enough to work through them and never let it get personal.

He is a good father and husband, who had put aside his career ambitions because they got in the way of the quality time with his family. I remember the countless times he opted to go home and eat with his kids rather than enjoy the five star food available to us.

I will probably never understand why they did this to him, but I can't think of anyone who deserved it less.

I will miss you, my friend. I hope our paths cross again.

Meanwhile, it leaves us all wondering - when will it be my turn?

Bad hair life

I am beginning to feel the full repercussions of having rebonded my hair.
Now that it is starting to grow out, it looks awful.
The top is all curly and wild and the bottom is straight and can be mistaken for a broom stick at the best of times.

I look like a member of a bad 80s rock band, when perming the mullet was all the rage.

But after 3 years of straight hair, that notion has lost its lustre (pun fully intended)

I am just going to hide under a rock for a while until my hair grows to a decent length where I can cut of the straight bits and have cool short, curly hair.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Just Once

Just once

It would be great if someone was waiting for me.

Looking out for me in the mindless throng that exits the train station
with anticipation and the slight look of desperation.

His eyes lighting up when he catches mine.

A wave, a smile, a hand reaching out to clasp mine
as soon as it comes within reach.

Raising it to his lips to greet with a warm kiss.

Goodbye Mr Jeyaratnam

Joshua Benjamin Jeyaratnam 1926 - 2008

You were always to be a relic of the past
Me, who was born deeply entrenched in the PAP way of life
Me, who never had to fight for a thing
Who did not know about the battles our fathers had to fight

You were also sometimes an embarassment
When I saw you hawking the Hammer on the streets
The embarassment an Indian woman feels
when she sees an Indian man belittled and mocked

You were loud, you ranted, you made yourself heard
When they were so many who did not want to hear you
You beleived in your ideals and you didn't care who knew it
You tries so hard to make us beleive it too

I recently heard someone say
Money can't buy taste class or character
Mr Jeyaratnam, you had all three
Whether on the streets or in parliament house

You will be missed
Even by those who didn't know you
Even by the likes of me

About Direction and Discpline

I feel like lately I am being gently guided into a new and exciting phase of life. I am not sure if it something I am desiring this myself or its a leading by the Holy Spirit, but either way, I am looking forward to it.

Meanwhile, Pastor Wicks preached a smoking sermon on discipline on Saturday, which resonates with me on a very personal level. I have always been a "microwave oven" as once described - get excited, do it fast and cool down quickly. I think that applies to more areas that what was initally alluded to . But discipline is all about the long haul isn't it? Like how Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps started preparing for a moment that was 4 years in the future.

So what do I need to be disciplined about?

Ha ha. Wrong question.

I think the right question is - How can I shift my entire way of thinking into a discipline paradigm.

But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction - Proverbs 3:11

For sound advice is a beacon, good teaching is a light, moral discipline is a life path Proverb 6:23

Lepak Sunday

It has been a long time since I had a Sunday like yesterday's, and I am so glad it happened. It was straight out of a chick-lit novel - brunch, shopping, ice cream, lazy conversations, ogling beautiful people and of course, lots of laughs.













G met us at Riders Cafe for brunch, and if you have never been there, I do suggest you make at least one trip, post haste. It's hard to imagine Singapore still has such a place. Its near the riding school, so you can go look at all the lovely horses after that.

And the food was good too. The pancakes were lovely, served with real maple syrup, and the 3 egg omelette was really scrumptious - soft and gooey on the inside. I had the apple cinnamon toast, which wasn't too bad, but not filling enough.

After that we went to walk around Orchard Road, cos G wanted to buy Hanan a birthday present. My kid picked a fedora hat and cool "playa" sunglasses as his present. Whatever else you wanna say, the kids got style.


And we ended off by going to Ben and Jerry's at Demsey Road. This is possibly the nicest chill out place there is that allows kids. The high ceilings and wooden furniture have a nice ranch house feel. And the really good ice cream can't hurt either :) Of course i am paying for it now with a really bad throat, but it's worth it!

Hot

It doesn't matter what wierd pixellated rubbish they make them wear, a man in uniform is just hot. Case in point, my adopted brother Joshua.


And he is single. Any ladies interested?

Nostalgia Kick