Y'allbonics

Speaking of new and intersting languages, here's one that one of my friends in West Virginia (who is a self confessed Reformed Hick sent me.

For practical lessons, please watch reruns of the Beverly Hillbillies.

Y'ALLBONICS: ANY GOOD SOUTH'NER WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN PEACHES WILL
UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE WORD BELOW!

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the
seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating
Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern
schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.

1.) HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

2.) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"

3.) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

4.) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to
Lanner."

5.) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

6.) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck,and I ain't herd from him in munts."

7.) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

8.) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

9.) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

10.) RANCH - (noun)- tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

11.) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

12.) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

13.) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

14.) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise,I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

15.) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

16.) FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

17.) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

18.) CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer".

19.) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ...must be from some farn country."

20.) DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

21.) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ARE!"

22.) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

23.) JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

24.) HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah .... haze ignert.
He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

25.) SEED -(verb) - past tense of "to see".
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City".

26.) VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

27.) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

Take this test!

I scored 22% which puts me in the Total Geek category. W00t!

http://www.innergeek.us/geek-test.html

Easy Klingon Phrases - for everyday use!

qa'pla - success (usually used as a toast, preferable with blood wine)

Gaagh - bloodworm stew

nuq'neh - greeting among peers (literally, what do you want?)

bortaS bir jablu'DI'reh QaQqu'nay - Revenge is a dish best served cold

luq - ok I will

jiH - I, me

Qong - sleep

tera'ngan SoH - I am Terran


Practise is the key to mastering any language. Have fun!

Goodbye Steve

One of my heroes, Steve Irwin, also known as the Crocodile Hunter died today. He was 44.

He died exactly how we all thought he would go - by the venom of one of the wid anumals he loved so much. It was a sting ray that took down the man who for years have shown us what fearless means.

Goodbye Steve. God Bless you. You will be missed.

Comex 06

Computer Expos are mad. And Comex is no exception. On the first day of the show, the carparks were full by 3. The show only opened at 12. And that's on a working day, when you would think most people would have better things to do. Who knew?

After 3 9-hour days at the Canon laser printer booth, there are some things I can say without engaging my brain now.

"We offer a one year onsite warranty, but only during the show!"
"$50 NTUC vouchers, if you buy during the show"
"Canon OEMs for a lot of brands, so who would you rather buy from?"

Now, if I had a $1 for everytime I said one of those lines, It would pay for my dinner at Brazil.

The highlight of the show for me is, I got to meet one of my childhood heroes. Those of you born before 1985 might remember V Sundramoorthy, our own celebrity footballer (besides Fandi lah). Well, he came early on Friday with one of his friends, and I got a chance to talk to him! Of course I didn't go on and on about what a fan I was (that will be so uncool), but I think I did stare and drool a bit.


Comex visitors really do come in all shapes and sizes. My favourites (NOT) are the couples who bring 4 children, 2 strollers and a maid carrying 3 bags. They park all the paraphenalia in front of the printers, while they hold hands and study specs together. This means of course that noone else can come look at the printers and the darn kids are stickyfying everything with their snot and saliva.

Then there are the "better-than-you" Indian expats who are all computer geniuses or some mess, and of course cannot ask an Indian woman for technical specs. What will that do to their self respect? Even if she is trained Canon staff. Damn asses.

The nicest people are of course the polite NUS and NTU hostelites, who need color laser printers to print out assignments and notes. All the tuition fees and no computer labs, poor buggers. So what if the running cost of that machine runs to at least a grand a year? Daddy can pay what.

But the deals at the show are the real thing. Some of the price slashing is just ridiculous and certainly worth braving the crowds.

Next show is Sitex in December. Gear up, its gonna be a short 3 months.

Ten things I must do when I get paid

1. Tithe

2. Throw my kid a proper birthday party

3. Buy a digital camcorder

4. Buy birthday presents for all the pple I missed in August

5. Eat at Brazil's

6. Pay off all my petty loans (Mum, your $40 is on its way)

7. Bless David and his new Jenny with supper at G7

8. Watch Forbidden City

9. Cut and colour my hair

10. Buy at least one CD and one book for personal enjoyment

Donations are welcome and not tax exempt.

KL #2 - Viva Colombia!

If you do not go to the Westin KL for any other reason (and God knows we can't afford it), then you must go to their Qba to listen to the Salsa band.
They were awesome. 3 percussionists, 1 keyboardist, 4 Singers and 3 dancers were packaged into a 6 piece Colombian Band who played 4 45 min sets of great salsa, bachata and merengue music.

The two babes had the hottest dance moves that they performed in perfect synchronicity, and the men had voices that when they talk like that, will make a woman go mad. (Sorry,Shakira)

Count on being able to nurse a drink for a long long time, because the prices are ridiculous (RM 26 for a G&T - WTH?)But the entertainment in worth it. Between sets the DJ (who I am sure is Indian on account of his caustic tongue)spins R&B, Top 40 and Latin Pop.

Club closes at a decent 3 o'clock, so go check it out if u are in KL. Malaysia Boleh!

KL #1 - Lunch and Tourism

Upon arrival and check in the first thing on the agenda was "Eat at Tarbush"

This restaurant serves the best Lebanese, Muslim Mediterranean food I have ever had. And I know it was the real thing because although it was 3 in the afternoon, every table was full. Most of the diners were also Middle Eastern - fat, bearded men, with black abaya-clad women (who had the most beautiful eyes) and a gaggle of little rascally childen who you wanted to trip when they ran past you, screaming.



We started with freshly made pita bread and a bowl of hummus. The real treat was the lovely green olive oil that they drizzled on it, make every bite an experience!


Then the mains arrived.
The most impressive one of course was Ridwan's lamb sizzler, which was.. well.. sizzling. But the other dishes were great too, chicken briyani, lamb chops and my sambosas. The only one that was not a hit was Ashley's Moussaka, but that'll teach her to come to a Med restaurant and order the only vegetarian dish they have. "slaps head in despair*

Once done with lunch, we headed for the Petronas Towers to do the tourist thing. We took the little monorail system that they have, which is sorta like our LRT, except theirs got driver.

KLCC is alot like City Hall. A lot of big brand shops like Zara and *bleurghs* Charles and Keith, not enough interesting rustic things to see. So while the rest went off to take pics with the Twin Towers, I decided to go to the Petronas Gallery, which gives you a pretty good history lesson, and to have something u can't get in Singapore anymore - A&W rootbeer float and Dunkin Donut.

And then while the rest of them went to Petaling Street to buy pirated (or "local") whatevers, I went back to the nice comfortable room at the Hotel Allson Genesis, strip down to my underwear and... slept.

More later.

If you want to see more pictures, go here.

Rants and Reviews

Just a few experiences that I had recently. This should keep you occupied while I am in KL this weekend.

1. Union Square
Touted as the premium salsa club in Singapore, this small-ish NTUC- run club tucked away on the second floor of Amara Shopping Centre is one crowded joint on Fridays. While I was happy to see so many geeky Singaporeans transform into suave hunks on the dance floor, the place really does need more floor space. They should get rid of the sleazy lounge with the even sleazier Filipina duo in the back, and open the place up for more dance space. Salsa isn't much fun when you are constantly conscious of banging into someone or turning around and finding that you have changed partners without meaning to.

Quick Facts.
Staring incidents: None
Throwing up Ah Lians: None
Pool Table: One
Fat balding ang mohs ogling women: one. He looked lonely
Ability to make gin and tonic: Good! Decent shot of gin, acceptable amount of ice.
Decor: internally lit tables and discreet uplights were a nice touch. The horrid National Day bunting looked like they stole it from a govt building in the dark of the night though. But NTUC club lah.. what you expect? Have to be patriotic.
Babes and hunks: plenteous! Definitely a people watcher's paradise. Especially if you like the Latin type.
Ladies Night: Fridays till1:30
Live band: Salsa band on weekends, sleazy duo every night in lounge area.

***

2. Wild at Heart by John Eldrege

READ THIS BOOK!

The thing I loved most about this book, is that it is deeply spiritual without being "churchy". Which interestingly enough, is why alot of "churchy" reviewers did not like it at all.

It portrays God as a Person with danger in His being, adventure in His heart and romance inHis soul. And as beings made in his image, we are just like that too. Especially men. This book tells men its ok to not be the "nice guy", the guy who plays safe, does not take risks, and fears criticism.




It also addresses something that I have been thinking about for a long time - that we have all been wounded by the men in our pasts, who have had to deal with their own wounds. The key is to find a way out of that self condemning circle



Eldrege is a deeply committed Christian, and he writes this book from a Christian perspective. But he is also very aware that God speaks to us from other media besides the bible as well. He quotes largely and freely from secular authors, books, movies, songs and poetry. Some examples: BraveHeart, Bruce Springsteen, The Eagles, Galdiator.... all the movies that women today shirk from and try and prevent the men in their life from seeing.


Ladies, men need "man movies". They need their violent video games, their barbecues, their fishing, hunting. They need to be seen by their women as dangerous heroes, knights, warriors and kings. Danger IS their middle name. Whether its your sons, brothers, husbands or fathers, don't hold them back. Let them go be men, and they will love you for it, and come back to you to be let go again



Men, women are not the answer. We don't even understand the question. Don't depend on us for your validation. But as deep as you desire to cherish us, we want to be cherished. To be desired, loved, fought for and won. Fight for us. Fight against the cheap dates, the porn, the distraction called "work". We will make it worth your while. And when we see you in your strength, you can see us in our beauty. Take your strength away and our beauty will fade too.

***

3. Breakfast joints

Breakfast pickings at Jurong East are few and far between, and every morning I am faced with the "what to eat?" dilemma. Here is a short list of some that I have tried.

Long John Silver's Inch Thick Toast

Now this is simply awesome. Inch thick toast, buttered on both sides, crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. With your choice of bacon, egg, cheese and sausage. It fills u up waaay past lunch time and it incredibly delicious. I usually wash it down with iced lemon tea. Heavenly! On the downside, it is a bit pricey - $5.00 for breakfast breaks the budget quite a bit. But if you have to skip lunch for any reason, then this is the perfect breakfast.

$1.90 Nasi Lemak

Tucked away in a corner of the food court behind the CPF building is the $1.90 Nasi Lemak stall. Fluffy coconut flavoured rice that is not dyed puke green, hot and crispy accompaniments and the right kind of chili makes for a filling albeit fattening breakfast. My personal favourites are the luncheon meat (fried till crispy). sambal long beans and cruncy ikan bilis (anchovies). Downside of this breakfast - the aromatic and pungent flavours tend to stay on your breath for a while, so if you have any important meetings in the morning, give it a miss, or bring enough for everyone. But for the price, its good value for money.

Ah Hock Kaya Toast

A new kid on the block, Ah Hock still has is congratulatory flower arrangements outside its doors. It serves the same classic fare as most kaya toast places - half boiled eggs, paper thin toast with pats of butter and kaya and the ubiquitous gut-corroding cup of coffee. Basic stuff, nothing to write home about. The bread was cold when it arrived at my table, warm would have been nice. And they didn't provide serviettes, so you were obliged to wear crumbs from breakfast till you went outside and shook it all off, like a dog.

Verdict - only if you really REALLY want kaya toast. If not, save the experience for Ya Kun.

I need a new Hobby

Now that I am done with my salsa lessons, I need another hobby to make my life more exciting. You know, other than work, work and ... oh yeah. Work.

Here are a few options that I am considering. Maybe you, my dear readers, (yes, both of you), can tell which one fits my persona better.

1) Papier Mache
You remember this from Primary school right? All done with newspaper, homemade glue and a lot of mess. At the end of the day, you should have a lopsided bowl, or a vase with no opening or something similarly useless.

I am kinda hoping that age and a longer concentration span will help me to make this effort more promising than it was when I was 8. And it's something I can do with Hanan.
Cheap and good! Right up my alley.



2) Golf
I have always wanted to do this so that I can marry gorgeous blonde women. No, but seriously, it always looked like a good thing to learn, not to mention the obvious networking benefits. Besides my father-in-law is apparently a pro at golf, so it will be nice to play it with him when I go visit. (Score points lah!)
But since I am such a miser, I will probably go for the golfkaki thing by NTUC first before I spend serious moolah on this. Sekali I suck big time how?

3) Study HR
Human resources has always been a secret interest, mainly because I am quite kaypoh, and like to poke my nose into other people's business and tell them how to improve their lives. I am thinking of doing the basic cert in HR offered by SHRI, and then concentrate on the training aspect. It will combine my two most inert skills - talking and kaypoh-ing. What could be better than that?

Truth be told, I am getting a bit sick of marketing. A lof of fluff and flamboyance, just to peddle some product. What's the point, I say? Noone appreciates what you do, except maybe other marketeers, but who cares what they think anyway. Bunch of fluffers.

So, the polls are open! Option 1, 2 or 3. Your vote counts!

The Indignity of an Accident Victim

I have seen dead bodies before.

People who have lived long and fuitful lives and at their death bed are surrounded by loved ones and family who bear their departure with sadness and lots of fond memories.

People who have had their bodies ravaged by sickness, and disease, who want to live, but whose bodies betray them and refuse to sustain the life that still burns brightly. Their death beds are surrounded by people who grieve at their early passing, but are slightly relieved that the pain has ended.

People who die suddenly, in their sleep, on their friend's shoulder, in their homes, with no sign of struggle, and a beatific smile on their faces.

And then there are the suicides and accident victims. Their faces twisted in a grimace of pain, their limbs thrown haphazardly around them, barely covered with a plastic white sheet while gawkers stand arouns and stare at them with curiousity and barely disguised disgust.

I saw my first accident victim today. At 7:45 in the morning, at the junction of Ave 7 and Ave 4 - a junction that we use at least 4 times a week, if not more. He looked like a common man, dressed in Tshirt and grey pants, likely a labourer or night shifter, going home after work.

Noone knows what accounted for his lack of judgement in crossing the road at that point. But the car that hit him did not seem to be around. Would it have been different if they stopped and called for help? Did they in fact stop, and I missed them? I don't know. My senses were already overloaded by the man on the road. His life's blood trickling away towards the rain gutter, his status as human being forever defiled by his twisted body and that glaringly white sheet.

Makes you think (well, makes me think).

On and on the rain must fall
Like tears from the stars
Like tears from the stars

On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are
How fragile we are

- Sting,

My first post on KLK!!

Go read, go read!

Here is the link.

Hee hee.

Living it up!

Ah this is the life.

I am writing this after a glorious weekend mini break at the Intercontinental Hotel, Singapore. For those of who have never experienced a hotel getaway weekend within our fair shores, I highly recommend it. It's truly a getaway, but without the hassles of airport transfers, customs, strange food, weird smells etc. And the rude locals you encounter are your own people, so how to get angry with them?

I capitalised on one of my gift certificates that I bought from the hotel in April and got a really good deal on the room. It was one of those spur of the moment buys (like signing up for credit card to get a free coffee maker), but this is one that I have actually gotten more out of than I spent on it.

We checked in on Saturday afternoon at 2, me and my boy. Otrie said he would be right behind us, but in true CPT fashion, arrived at 6. Hanan and I used that time to do other fun things like get ice cream and hit the pool.

Now, I don't want to hear any "You think you ang moh , issit?" comments over the next paragraph. I sat on one of those cool deck chairs in the sun and read my book while Hanan frolicked in the pool. Everytime I got too hot, I jumped into the pool, then back out again for more sun warming. If you have not done this, don't knock it. Its actually very relaxing - a true sense of doing absolutely bugger all.

At about 8 we mosied down to the esplanade to catch the fireworks festival. Unfortunately about 100,000 other pple had the same idea. The only way to get a nice seat was to eat at one of the restaurants there, and the only restaurant with room was 2Hot Halal Cafe. And soon it was evident why. The sandwich was stone cold. The rendang was good, but took an hour to get there. (Maybe they made it fresh for us. Yeah right.) The satay was ok, biasa, but seriously overpriced.

Verdict: Dont eat there unless there is an astounding fireworks deisplay going on.

The fireworks were really good. The crowd pleasers were the big white fire works than ending in colored balls at the end. They were cool. Found out some of my colleagues were just 50m away from me, but we never saw them. The crowds were enormous. In 15 short minutes it was all over. An hour later, it was like nothing happened at all - unless u look the ground and see the massive mess left by the "No Littering Campaign" Singaporeans. Sigh.

So go catch rounds 3 and 4 this Friday and Saturday if u can. Starts at 9. For free entertainment, it quite good lah.

After a good nights sleep on linen sheets and feather pillows, we went to whack the buffet breakfast. Awesome lah. U name it, they had it.

Bacon and eggs? Have.
Cereal and Fruit? Have.
Teochew Porridge with the works? Have.
Dim Sum and Miso Soup? ALLL Have!

Very good. More time at the pool, then we checked out at 2 to go to church (500m away!)
I am so thankful for little sanity trips like these. Mental note: must do more often!

Tonight we dance!

Its been a great social experiment, coming home early all week, and seeing how the household reacts to my presence on a daily basis.

Feelings were mixed.

Some were genuinely happy to seeing, running pell mell to the door, with stars in the eyes, and a big four-limb hug (thats when kids take a running start, jump up, and hug you with arms around your neck and legs around your torso. Its like wearing a 45 pound necklace).

Some pretend that they didn't really notice you there because it may betray some deep macho part of their demeanour that is told to feel nothing and react to nothing (thanks, John Wayne, for perpetuating THAT myth.)

The good things that have come out of this come home early experiment are:

1) I have spent less money this week.
2) My son is actually prepared for his English and Tamil spelling tests waaay ahead of schedule.
3) I got to watch "Judging Amy", "Boston Legal", "Trick it Out" and a variety of other good stuff.
4) Am getting to eat my husband's wonderful cooking while I can.

But tonight is different. I get to do my two most favourite things - bible study and dance! Yes, this is the night where all the salseros gather at a humble dance studio in Carpenter St and wow each other with slick moves, passion and a whole lot of sweat.

The best thing about these impromptu salsa gatherings is that you get to practise without anyone looking down their nose at you. The next to best thing is that you get to watch the pros dance. And they make it look sooo good, so easy. I tend to develop this look of pained concentration when I dance, but they are laughing and whooping. One day, I will be like that too- once I find dance shoes that accomodate my flat feet.

And of course there is no cigerette smoke or drunk Romeos to contend with, unlike in clubs. (We do our drinking after the dancing!)

So come join me and let's baile!

Movie Review - The Lake House (with spoiler)

It's strange how the minute I tell people, "Go watch The Lake House!", the first thing they say to me is - "ghost story right?"

wtf?

Let the record show I don't watch ghost stories. I don't watch the trailers of ghost stories. I don't endorse ghost stories (paying good money to give yourself nights of sleepless insecurity - pppffbbt) and I definitely do not recommend ghost stories.

Now having said that, go watch The Lake House. It is as beautifully cathartic as a love story can get, with the perfect balance of fantasy and reality to make it as close to falling in love as you can possibly get.

If you don't know what I am talking about, then you obviously have never been in love. That sense of "is this really happening?" coupled with "Am I really that blessed?" with a hint of "What if I screw this up? Oh please God, don't let me screw this up!"

I am not going to give you a synopsis of the story because I think we all already know what it's about. And no, nothing about the movie is very un-formulaic, or mind blowing. It's a fairly simple boy meets girl, boy finds out girl is not attainable, boy fights all odds to attain girl story.

Except for the time difference. Of 2 years. And the painfully slow and torturous snail mail communication.

So this movie is actually about the wait. By the end of the movie, he would have waited 4 years for this woman. And 2 years with no contact at all.

Like I said, this movie is cathartic. It purges you of every frustration you ever felt waiting for someone, or even, waiting for someone to change. Sometimes with no communication from that person as to his feelings towards you. But you wait because you cannot imagine losing that part of your life by moving on.

Sandra Bullock moved on in the movie, not because she wanted to, but because she did the stupid thing. She decided to settle. Settle for what she could see, feel and tangibly hold. And she did it, like most of us do - without realising that what she couldn't see what far superior to what she could. She lost faith in faith, and it almost destroys her.

She was lucky she was the heroine of a movie, and the writers could fix her life for her, but most of us aren't that blessed. We muddle along the best we can, regretting the mistakes, but using distractions to forget about the self made mess. And keeping the faith in the other things that matter.

Jam at Indoor Stadium

Up to the point where I was sitting at the indoor stadium waiting for the stage lights to come on, I was sure if I wanted to be there. I don't usually enjoy praise and worship all that much. Once the first half hour passes, it all gets a bit repetitive and draggy for me.

A friend once said, sometimes we worship, and sometimes we sing songs. Last night was sort of like that. The first 10 minutes I just sang songs. They were good songs, full of meaning and melody. And written by a very talented pool of people at New Creation Church.

But gradually, I found myself being lifted by the music. I looked around at the people from my vantage corner seat, and instead of a sea of faces, I saw individuals who were determined to leave their worries, emotions and cares below and soar with the music.

And I realised it doesnt matter that I feel like crap, or my emotions are on overload. Because it was a time for my God and me to dance together and enjoy each other's company.

And we did. And it was good.

Banana Leaf Apollo Epiphany

The uncle came up to me as I was scooping
the last mouthful of rice and curry into my mouth;
"What do you want?" he asked, in Tamil
with a kindly twinkle as I caught his soft, warm eye.

I looked down at my leaf, with its unfinished portions
of extremely tasty veggies and meats,
and then up and around at the tables around me,
before I replied, with a wistful sigh,

"Uncle, I want the happiness of that
large family in that corner, with the three sisters
taking care of their baby brother, while their parents
look lovingly into each others eyes.

"I want that look of unbridled lust that newly wed
husband is giving his wife, while they hold hands
under the table, so his in-laws won't see them and
mar their joy with ancient disapproval.

"I want the easy camaraderie at that table of friends;
who are just as free with the insults as the praise
and punctuate each sentence with a punch to the arm
or a slap on the back.

"I want the shy innocence of that young teenage girl
who is sitting opposite the guy she really really likes,
although he is totally clueless and responds to her
intense gaze with a silly grin and nervous hands.

The uncle looks at me, and asks again, kindly,
"Do you need anything else?". Again the twinkle.
I look up at him and say, with true knowledge,
"No uncle, I have everything I need."

Nacho Libre

In order to really get what this movie is about, you need to have seen other Mexican movies whose genre Jack Black has attempted to honor by copying

The Milagro Beanfield War, for instance.

When Nacho Libre was good, it was very very good. Jack Black plays the main character, Brother Ignatio, who grew up and now works in a God forsaken Catholic orphanage (no pun intended) Frustrated by lack of funds to feed his charges, and tired of being the object of everyone's disdain, he fights in local wrestling matches, where even the money he makes from losing can buy fresh food for the kids.

The sexual tension in the movie comes in a very mild and kosher form of Sister Incarnasion, a new teacher in the school who is, of course, a nun. A very beautiful nun.

The noteworthy things in this movie were:
1) None of the actors were attractive, except Sister Incarnasion.
2) Besides Jack Black, all the actors were Mexican.
3) The great one liners were spread over all the characters and not confined to just the main hero. This is a mark of good writing, if you ask me.
4) The actor playing Esqueleto is truly a comic genius. His posture, actions, fake smile and hangdog expression takes after the great physical comedians of the screen - Groucho Marx, the Stooges, Lucille Ball, and more recently Jim Carrey. I really hope I see him in more movies.
5) Jack Black did all his own singing.

Go watch this movie. It won't be the most deep and sophisticated movie you will see this year, but once in a while, its good to see something that does not conform to the Hollywood formula.

am not in a blogging mood...

Maybe it's Mr Brown's song, or just the downward spiral my life has been taking recently, I'm just too sian to blog.

Things have not been going according to plan, and I know that life is unexpected yadda yadda yadda, but I hate not having control over the things that affect me. I gues this is one of those "let go and let God" moments.

On the upside, I just finished a 22 page transcription, so I do feel a small sense of fulfilment. This piece of work has been pending for about 1.5 months now, so I am glad I am done with it. Now, I can't wait for the next one.

One of the little nuggets of truth I uncovered during this transcription thing is this:- never do something, expecting the reward. That is the way of the world, but its not the best way. Instead, do your work as an expression of who you are, and the rewardsw will come look for you!

I am preaching. I know. But its more for me to hear than anyone lah, so no need to get offended all.

I am getting a little jaded with the office politics too. As a department, we are fine, but so many people resent our existence, I wonder how they decided to hire us in the first place. We are the necessary evil, I guess.

Anyways, I feel like I am just ranting now, so I will stop and let you move on to a more interesting blog.

Ciao

P.S Do NOT eat at this new restaurant at Citilink, called New York, New York. Unless you are into substandard pseudo American food, clueless wait staff and paying over the top prices for stuff that mainly comes out of a can.

POTC was awesome.....

If you are wondering if you should go and watch Pirates of the Carribbean, please do. Here are 10 reasons why:-

1) Johnny Depp (enuff said)
2) 2 and a 1/2 hours of pure entertainment - only Tamil movies give that kind of value for money.
3) The make up was awesome. Hanan and I had fun trying to identify all the different sea creatures that made up the Flying Dutchman crew (the ghost ship ah, not the Class 95 DJ)
4) The special effects were truly beleivable. Ok not totally. I mean who will beleive that a cage made of human bones, full of people, can be suspended 30 feet above a ravine.
5) That voodoo mama was hot! Albeit the black goo that coated her lips and teeth. But that Creole accent was amazing and she was hot!
6) Orlando and Kiera have the on-screen chemistry of hydrogen and oxygen - bland and tasteless, yet wholesome and good for you. Which is good if you have a major cruch on either of them.
7) That skinny dude (assistant to the General Manager) from The Office is in it. No, I don't know his name.
8) It has so many cool one liners that you can use on your friends to annoy them incessantly. E.g "Hello Beastie!"
"That's enough knowing! I thought I was doing the knowing" (Jack to Voodoo mama)
"Summon the kraken!"
9) The kraken special effects was amazing!!! So was the three way sword fight!
10) The great promise at the end that there will be another POTC coming real soon!

Burgers, Buddies and Blessings

Carl's Jr has completely changed the burger eating experience of Singaporeans. (I speak of burger chains, and not restuarants that also make a good burger). Gone are the days where we will pay close to $7 for a Big Mac Meal that will half satisfy you with their rubbery meat patties and dry hard buns. Or the $7++ flame broiled "Have it your way" burger, that is so obviously stuck in a microwave for reheating.


Carl's Jr is the "put hairs on your chest" burger joint. Portions I can hardly hold in my tiny hands, generous amounts of extras like bacon, chili or guacamole and a taste explosion when you bit into it. Sorry its a little messy, but the napkin dispensers on your tables means you are not at the mercy of the harried waiter, while you drip tomato sauce down your tshirt.

And free flow drinks - THAT'S what I am talking about!

Please try the sourdough burger. It's amazing!(Here's a promo for $2 off too)

Thanks Wicks and PKH for the great time!

****************************************

Just My Luck is your ultimate chick flick. Or should I say teen chick flick. Lots of kissing, lotsa romance, but no tongue and no jumping in bed with clothes off.
I realised for the first time how majorly freckled Lindsay Lohan is.

The movie is your basic girl meets guy formula with the strange twist - luck passing from her to him through a kiss. If you saw the movie Prelude to a Kiss, you will know this is not a new concept.

What I liked: Chris Pine is a cross between Rob Lowe and the Baldwins, which makes him really yummy. Very likable, very sweet.

What I disliked:- The story was a little predictable and little formulaic. There were points that I had to really try and pretend I didn't know what was going to happen next. (Rhordan, if you read this, I wasn't kidding about the duct tape. Deconstruct in your head, not out loud, ok?)

Still can't wait for The Lake House to open.

Old People, New People

I realised today that taking the time to keep in touch with friends is really hard work. I was going through my phonebook on the train. (As in the phonebook in my mobile while I was on the train. I don't keep a phonebook on the train. Do I really have to explain this?)

I was just basically doing some housekeeping, and found some names that have all but passed from memory. Preman, yes, I promise we will do the coffee thing. Lisa, I know 3 Saturdays have gone by since I said we will talk on Saturday. I have no excuses. Aunty Shanti, I still owe you that hi-tea, I have not forgotten. And Prebhu, thanks for your persistant smses, or I would have felt very bad coming across your name under the "Ps".

Investing in friends really takes work man. You have to call them, find that sliver of time in each other's schedules where you can meet, find new things to talk about, try not to get jealous of new friendships/ relationships and finally make the effort again in another 3 months.

So to all my friends, those I contact, and those I don't, you are all alive and well in my mobile phonebook.

I have a new resolution for July. That I will call/sms at least one old friend a day just to touch base and say hi. And from there, hopefully they will reciprocate.

Clubbing with Dad

Saturday night was crazy. It started out rather tame; dinner at Achaya Curry for some good ol fashioned comfort food. Dad, of course, had to go and berate the man for the meaning of the word "Achaya", which led to Purana stories being exchanged for the better part of 15 mins, while the rest of us went to McDonald's next door to get dessert.

Then we got in a cab and heading towards UE square, figuring we could decide what to do once we got there. Big mistake.

First stop - Naughty Nine. Reason - Dad needed to get some Indian music to start the night out right. Ok, so maybe I needed it too. Wish we had picked a better club though. For one thing, its a bit of a hike from UE Square to Boat Quay.(Dad goes, after 10 mins of walking, "Where is the goddamned place?" It was funny at the time.) And the sign was so small, we almost walked right past it. When we got there, there were about 2 guests, minus all the bar staff. Then out of nowhere 15 boys and girls (really BOYS and GIRLS) came from nowhere, the music changed to serious Tamil gang theme songs, and we decided we had to leave.

My brother then got a call from his friends who were at O bar, and so we went down there. Slowly the group grew, from 3 to 5 to 9 and finally 14. We decided to cash in on the marvelous 2 bottles of Remy Martins for $300 deal and got a nice corner booth into the bargain to sit and watch the action. There were this bunch of young nubile women dressed in pretty much nothing who were gyrating against each other. Dad and I enjoyed the show.

Prashanth got majorly smashed, and how I could tell was, he was actually spending money! My brother never spends money. And he was dancing with no rhythm. When a brown man dances with no rhythm, he is either drunk or deaf. Even Melvin, the only "manjen" in our group, had more rhythm. Kudos to you, Mel!

Soon it was 4 and O Bar kicked us out.Alcohol count for the night is as follows:
1) 2 bottles of Remy Martin
2) 1 bottle of Moet and Chandon champagne
3) 1 jug of Gin and Tonics
4) 1 jug of barcadi coke
5) One shot of 150 proof (dad only)
6) 2 beers
7) 3 Barcadi Breezers (orange flava - yummy)

Do you know how long it takes for 13 Indians, and one Honorary Indian to say goodbye? That's right, bloody forever. I finally got in a cab at 4:45 am and headed home. Last I saw of Dad, Prashanth and Tish, they were heading for bedroom bar. Good for them.

Update: Prashanth strongly denies being a kanja pisunaari who can't dance, i.e engineer. Views presented here are solely the blogger's and do not represent her immediate social circle's opinions.

Happy Birthday Dad!

You took me swimming and taught me not to be afraid of getting water on my face or sand in my swimsuit.

You brought me to get my ears pierced when I was 5, and promised to buy me "Black Beauty" if I didn't cry. Well, I didn't and you did.

You used to braid my waist length hair into 2 long plaits and tie the ends with ribbons to match my clothes. And then kiss my forehead while you admired your handiwork.

You told me that it didn't matter to you what religion I adopted, as long as the reason wasn't because I like the name "Patricia" or "Hamidah".

You gave me my very first copy of the Mahabaratha when I was 8, and would spend hours discussing it with me.

You made me feel smart, beautiful and special. I thought you were the handsomest man in the world.

You did what you thought was the best thing for me when you sent me away. I know it hurt you to do it.

I love holding your hand when we go out. It's warm and strong and makes me feel secure.

I love it when you are drunk and sing off key and do your little dances that go with the songs.

I love that you mispronounce words like "charisma" and "tsunami", and don't bat an eyelid when I make fun of you.

I love it when you look at us, your kids, with unconditional love and pride in your eyes, even when we screw up.

I love you Dad! Happy 58th Birthday!

The 10 month itch

You know how marriages are purported to have the 7 year itch?
Well , every employment cycle reaches this point which I will refer to as the 10 month itch. It's that point in your employment where you either need to change your jobscope or pick up an extra challenge or two, because your job just looks bleak and boring.

I work for a local SME who are resellers for computer hardware. Yes that is as techy and geeky as it sounds. And those of you who know me, know that I am not neither techy, nor geeky. So being the only one of my kind, in so many ways, can get a bit stifling at times.

Noone knows what I do (marketing). Noone thinks its important. Noone is interested in my little successes and triumphs, unless its value can be represented by a $ in the front. Besides the big boss, as far as everyone else is concerned, marketing is dispensable.

So here is what I think I should do to inject new life into my job, and make my life more exciting:-


1) Pull a Mimi. You know, the never-subtle, wildly made up, loudly dressed, always on Drew's case character in the Drew Carey show. Played by the talented Kathy Kinney, Mimi is basically an over the top, vulgar and vindictive co worker, who gives hell to everyone who crosses her path. I think I can pull it off rather well, since I am almost halfway there. Everybody already thinks I am weird anyway, because I speak in English, go home on time and have no desire to karaoke every weekend.

2) Switch from marketing to another role. Maybe HR I was thinking. I have terrific people empathy, and I think I know what this company needs in terms of training. They needs surgey to remove the stick that's been shoved up their arses.
(Note: Do you need a cert or something to work in HR? I dunno)

3)A new challenge, or something I can be passionate about. Like a raise in salary, for instance. Or a better desk space where I don't have to listen to Hokkien conversation, Chinese radio or the damn shredder ALL DAY LONG. Where I have a window and a view of the outside world. Oh wait - what view?

4) My boss back!! She has been gone too long, and it will be another 2 weeks before she comes back from maternity leave. She is now the only person left in the office who speaks my language. English.

5) New colleagues wouldn't be bad too. What I need is some fresh perspective of the ourside world. It's too homogenous in here.

So if you know any other ways to take care of the 10 month itch, please share ok? I need all the help I can get.

************************************************************************

The seafood soup thingy at Delifrance rocks. Ok, officially, it's called the "Brioche Oceane Sauce Mornay", but that's too long and French for me. It's really an awesome meal, light enough to still spring for dessert later, but with enough ingredients and flavour to satiate you. In it, they have real fish, shrimp, sotong, and the sauce is just amazingly creamy and yummy. And also they have it listed as a starter, I would wait till it arrives before you decide if you want anything else. Its good stuff!

I am Singaporean

Mr Brown just started this Iamsingapore meme, so here is my contribution.

I am singaporean.
Past
Born in 73.
Had one brother because that time, must stop at 2.
Lived in army quarters before moving to brand new 5 room flat in Ang Mo Kio.
Watched National Day fireworks every year from my window till they built Bishan.
Used to spend allowance Saturdays at mama shop deciding between Chiclets or Bubba Yum. Bubba Yum won hands down. Until they banned it cos it spoilt the train doors.
Spent every recess playing zero point. Until they banned it because it was "too dangerous".
We took Bus 166 to Tekka every friday to go to temple and eat thosai.
Going to secondary school was 2 bus transfers to Yishun, but no sweat, because got bus pass.
We spent the journey listening to "mix tapes" on our walkman, that we recorded off 98.7 FM
Went to Polytechnic, but kena sabo because still must get degree.
So went to study in Australia.
Came back with Singaporean accent intact.



Current
Have a son born in 99.
He has no siblings, cos his parents cannot imagine supporting another mouth.
Lived in rental flat before buying 5 room HDB resale.
Couldn't watch NDP because cannot find tickets for love or money. And our flat's window is blocked by 4000 other high rise buildings.
Spend salary on food, bills, taxi fare and HDB loans. Got chewing gum also, no money to buy.
My son plays Xbox and PS2.
We take the MRT to church and eat pasta.
We pass the journey by listening to our ipods and watch movies on mobile media players.
My son goes to Pri One, brings back homework EVERYDAY. And his written Tamil is even better than mine.
Thanks to TV and my American husband, he speaks English with an American accent.

I am Singaporean. I take the bad with the good. Not perfect, but not condemned either.

Technorati tag: iamsingaporean

Why Salsa Rocks My World (the dance, not the dip)

1) It's the most fun you can have with a partner with full body contact, to great rhythms and lots of passion, with no sexual intentions whatsoever.


2) I have the best instructor in the world. Kit is patient, funny and kinda cute. And he makes it look oh so easy. His only flaw is that he tends to lapse into Mandarin once in a while, but I think that's more to cater to the grassroots crowd at Bukit Ho Swee CC than anything else. And yes, though he looks like he bats for the other team, he is all man!Click here to link to his website.

3) The people in my class are really a fun bunch. Sam and Doris, Vivian, Edwin, Steven - you ALL rock! Good for us: there is an even number of guys and girls. In Kit's class, we all have to rotate partners, so we learn how to adapt to different leads and styles (and most importantly don't learn the mistakes!) In the whole class, there is only one couple that refuses to swap partners and insists on only dancing with one another.

4) Dancing really make me high. Something about the adrenalin rush, but I really feel like I can do anything when I am dancing. It's a good self-esteem boost! And we all need that at some point, right? - something that we know we excel at and get to showcase even if the audience is not very big. Yes, I am a natural born dancer and I love my newly acquired salsa skills.

My next challenge is to dance with someone not from my class. In class, we all learn the same routine, so we tend to follow the steps instead of improvising. But dancing with someone else will really put my skills to the test and see if I can follow someone's lead or not. Therein lies the rub.

So calling all salseros! If you wanna take a Salsa nooB (20 lessons only) and let her practise being a good follower, please tag me eh?

**Update: I was told by one of my readers that my rant about one of my classmates was unfair because I don't know her enough to comment. So as not to offend my reader's sensibilities, I will remove the comment.

But dear reader, even when a blog is public, it is still someone's personal opinions and musings. If you cannot handle the occasion rant, then maybe blog reading is not for you.

Another Fabulous Superman Returns Review

Click here to read Orson Scott Card's review. Thanks to Mr Card for permission to link his review to my blog. This is the closest I will probably get to 6 degrees of separation to my favourite author.

Leave Letters (from India)

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people
in various places of India ...

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two
days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."


13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an
Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several
years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Superman Returns, and I for one am glad!

Forget all that nonsense about Superman being an inferior superhero, compared to Xmen, Batman and Spiderman. Superman is in a league of his own (no pun intended).

For one thing, he is the only superhero on the list that was born to be a hero. He is not a reluctant hero, who is constantly struggling with whether or not he wants to use his superpowers to save the world. For Superman, it's a given.

What I loved most about Superman Returns was the parallel to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Even you are not a Christian, you will recognise the many references to the idea of a fallen world, the need for a Saviour, the oneness of a Father and a son, the passion of the Christ (when Lex and his men work Superman over, my eyes filled up with tears) and the resurrection message.

And what about that Brandon Routh eh? Blue contact lenses notwithstanding, I can't think of a better actor to play the role. He still has that small town farm boy charm (he is from Iowa), which comes across when he is Clark Kent. But when he is Superman, he is self-assured, confident and oh so yummy. My fave scene was when he is floating up in space, drawing energy from the sun. The relaxed pose juxtaposed with the enormity of what he was doing, was the perfect image of who Superman really is.(Another Christian message here - when you are at rest, that's when the Son can fill you up)

I have to mention here Kevin Spacey's role as Lex Luthor. He played the consummate Luthor - evil? yes. Megalomanical? Yes. And yet so human (fallen but redeemable) and personable, there are times when I found myself actually understanding why he wanted to ruin Superman so much. His role was very much like that of Judas Iscariot - ultimately it was his choice to destroy good, but somehow you know he was led to make that decision.

So if you are considering seeing Superman, do it!! In additional to fabulous casting, great character development and a water tight script, the sfx and cinematography are flawless. It probably won't be nominated for an Oscar because the Academy has a childish pet peeve against nominating good comic movies, but it is still a magnificent film.

Pay Day!

Finally! This has been such a long month, especially the last two weeks. Its funny how the end of the month seems so far away when you are on a shoestring budget.
This month I am going to be good. I will:-
1) Tithe
2) Pay off some bills
3) Pay off the loan (goke akka, I lowe you!)
4) Make sure I do only 2 movies and 2 club nights.
5) Eat wisely, and cheaply

And let's hope this month is shorter than June.

*****

I do not understand how nuns and priests can go without bodily contact with another human being all their lives. Just 2 weeks, and I feel like my flesh is becoming hypersenstive to the warmth of another human being. The other day I was standing a bit too close to this man on the train, and I could have sworn the skin on my arm was straining to get closer to him. Total stranger, some more! So macam desperate, right?

I need a hug.

(PS: Hugs from my 6 year old are lovely, but not the same.)

******

The Lakehouse is a movie that will be launched on 28th July. But I am already in love with it. Firstly Keanu and Sandra - enough said. (yes, we ARE on first name basis.)

Second, the premise of the story is so beautiful - a lowe story that is about the heartache of not being able to be with the one you love. No, noone dies in it (I think).

Lastly, any movie with cinematography like that is a winner in my Oscars. The setting was perfect, the lighting muted, even the weather was a perfect blend of crisp and cold.

So please place your bids for the pleasure of my company on the 28th of July to see The Lake House. I will pick the winner based on sincerity of plea, allure of pre- and post-movie plans and of course willing to pay for my ticket lah.

The Age of Polyester

What set apart style in the 70s from every other era before?

I think it was just that whole over the top glitz, glamour and Geegaws. No point doing a thing unless you are going to do it all the way. Why wear pants unless you can wear them tightest at the crotch and waay flared at the bottom. Why sport an afro unless its big enough to hide a few essential things in it?



Gold outfits. Polyester shirts. Collars an airplane could have landed on. Big Hair, big makeup, stuffed crotches (for boys) and runway chests (for girls). The glamour of the 70s was easy to replicate and looked great.


Me, I don't have a lot of 70s clothes. One pair of wildly patterned bell bottom jeans. One butterfly sleeved blouse. One pair of platform shoes. But when I wear them all together with some gold eyeshadow and big, big hair - I am the dancing queen baby!

I am on a 70s fixation

I don't know what sparked it off. Maybe it was that night at Gold Dust, with its ABBA and Gloria Gaynor. Maybe it was recent events that led to 70s nostalgia. Whatever the cause, my friends will have to put up with me wearing blue, green and gold eyeshadow and listening to 70s hits for the next few days.

The worse thing that happened in the 70s is probably music videos like this.



I don't get this video at all. What did they plug the instruments into? Whats with the very strange "guru" clothes the pianist is wearing? How did three women come out of a tent that small?

The mind boggles.

Then on the flip side of the coin, you have this beautiful tune by David Gates. Never mind that he is lip-synching (rather well, I might add).


Next post, I will do fashion. They had some really cool clothes back then.

Sick and Tired of Canteen Food!!

If I had to eat at the canteen at 194 Pandan Loop one more time I am going to scream!
Why, oh why did I agree to work in a place that is miles away from any decent food places?

And don't give me any of the "you should be thankful for what you have" crap. If you have been eating from the same 5 sucky stalls for the past 9 months, you would whinge about it too.

Let me give you a break down of what we have in this lovely 5 Star Establishment ok?

1) Malay Stall
This stall has all the halal basics - nasi padang, nasi lemak, mee rebus, mee siam and biryani on Friday. If I had to pick one stall that has some kind of standard, it woule be this one. At least they are friendly and the food is halfway tasty (read: not smothered in MSG). Disadvantage:- its the only muslim stall, and I work in an industrial area. So the queue is usually at least 10 pple deep at any one time. And I can't be arsed to queue all lah. So unglam.

2) Yong Tau Foo Stall
This is possibly the worse yong tau foo you would ever have eaten. The noodles are consistently overcooked, the soup is laden with MSG and the oil for the fried stuff has probably never been changed. And once in a while, just to keep things exciting, they have day old tofu mixed in with the rest. Hello, Diarrhoea!

3) Bak Chor Mee Stall
Ok, if you have ever been to a restaurant where the waiters were rude, the cooks crabby and the food mediocre, then you can probably guess what this stall is like. When you walk up to order, the aunty looks at you like she is doing you a favour. And that proceeds to get your order wrong! And then insists that you take it, because YOUR instructions were not clear!

4) Chicken Rice
Ok lah, generic chicken rice - nothing to write home about. The uncle is very friendly, so flirting with him is actually the highlight of that particular choice. He also sells wan ton mee, but his wan tons leave much to be desired. *snickers lecherously*

5) Chinese Economy Rice Stall
They make a lot of different kinds of dishes, which is the plus point. The downside is - they all taste the same. Basically, they make 3 standard sauces and combine it with all the different kinds of meats and vegetables. Ugh, totally mundane.

AND THATS IT!

That's all the choices one has for lunch when one works at Pandan Loop. Of course, you can beg a colleague to drive you out to Ginza Plaza or take a cab to Clementi, but most of us are doomed to eating the same 19 things.

So if anyone reads this, and takes pity on a poor, hardworking sista who needs some lunchtime excitement, please contact me. You will be reward handsomely with my undying gratitude.

The thing that is sometimes frustrating about Singapore is that its so darn small. And if you are Indian, its even smaller. Everywhere you go, you are bound to meet someone either related to you, related to someone related to you, or a friend, who after some analysis turns out to be related to you.

Really. Play 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon with every Indian person you meet, and chances are you will find the connection sooner or later.

Today, I forgot this. I decided I was only going to the NTUC in my neighbourhood, and I wouldn't meet anyone I know. So I didn't undo my Pippi Longstocking braids (one of them literally stood at a 45 degree angle to my head), wore my oldest, scruffiest orange T shirt, and flip flops.

I turn into the entrance to come face to face with one of my ex colleagues from SINDA. (yes, 6 degree gets even easier when you have worked with SINDA). He was in stylo mylo berms, polo shirt and "cooling glasses". I saw the look of "what the hell?" pass his eyes before the recognition and familiarity. I was mortified.

Thankfully Hanan was with me, and saved the day. The boy looks good regardless of what he is wearing and has a naturally pleasant demeanour, so I diverted the attention to him, and thus managed to salvage a really embarassing situation.

The moral of the story is - be prepared. Yes, like a good boy scout, be prepared to always be seen by the last person you expect to see. Or as my mother used to say,
"Wear clean underwear in case you get knocked down by a car, at least people will say," ah she was clean".

Eh?

Hey, have you ever tried
Really reaching out for the other side?
I may be climbing on rainbows,
but baby here goes.

Dreams, they're for those who sleep
Life is for us to keep
So if you're wondering what this song
is leading to - I wanna make it with you.
I really think that we can make it, girl.

Though you don't know me well,
And every little thing, only time will tell
If you beleive the things that I do
Then we'll see it through

Life can be short or long
Love can be right or wrong
But if I chose the one I'd like
to help me through - I wanna make it with you
I really think that we can make it, girl.


This song "Make it with you" was written and performed by David Gates, member of a 70s group called Bread.
I dedicate it here to a livid play I never fail to think of everytime I heard it.

Curveballs

Its funny the curveballs life throws at you. Just when you think," My life is so boring, I wish something exciting will happen," WHAM!!! It hits you, right between your eyes.

Excitement has entered my days.

My GM quit. Short notice. I am so tired of losing the people at work that I love. Of course this changes everything. My first thought was, "Die lah! They going to fire me, because hiring me was his idea!"

i am so insecure sometimes. But no, my immediate boss has reassured me thats not going to happen, so heng. (This also means she has to cut her maternity leave short and come back early)


Then, I met someone from the past. An old friend who I wasn't quite fair to. But I am obviously forgiven, and we met for drinks to talk and reminisce (sp). Its funny the things you remember after 12 years. I just hope it won't be another 12 years before I can finally make amends.


Lastly, I think we have a reach a new plateau in our relationship. The Plateau of Mutual Respect. I was getting tired of being treated like the child while you have been there, done that, bought the T shirt and taken snapshots of the scenery. I know things too; especially non tangible things that one can only get from Wisdom.


These 3 major events are going to make the next few weeks unpredictable at the very least. Will she keep her job? Will her friend stick around long enough to accept apologies and explanations? Will she realise she actually knows nothing and the snapshot taker was right all along?

Tune in next week for the tale of "Nalinee's Life".

By the way, here is a cool word - zerorised (v.) to make some data into nothing but assigning it zero value in order to conceal some information.

Use it.

New Announcements in MRT trains

I think there are some very serious announcemnets that SMRT needs to consider incorporating in its trains, together with their current ones.
Here they are, in no order of importance:-

1) Please restrain your children. SMRT staff reserve the right to catch and smack any children running around, screaming and using the hand grips as monkey bars.

2) Please take a shower before entering the train. Body odour will not be tolerated and passenger will be asked to disembark.

3)Please refrain from overly expressive body contact with the opposite sex. SMRT trains are a public place. We WILL throw your ass in jail.

4) Passengers who are not able to sleep in a vertical position and keep slumping over other passengers are requested to remain standing for the duration of their journey.

5) Students are reminded to treat the trains as a mode of transport and not their grandfather's house. Sitting on the floor in large groups and laughing racously is strongly discouraged. Passengers who see this kind of behaviour are encouraged to step on the students, preferably their hands.

6) Please switch your handphone to the silent mode if you are listening to music via earphones. You won't hear your phone ring and noone else wants to hear the first 4 lines of "Hips don't lie" 15 times.

7) Testing of different ringtones loudly on your handphone is expressly forbidden. Please wait till you are in the privacy of an underwater cave before engaging in such activity.

8) During peak hours, passengers are requested not to fart or belch noisily. If you feel the urge, please disembark, relief yourself and board the next train.

9) Seat chope-ing for your friends is strictly forbidden. If your friends are too slow to rush in and get their own seat, please give up your seat for them.

10) Releiving your boredom by clipping your nails, digging your nose and examining its contents or staring menacingly at fellow passengers is strongly discouraged. We are an educated nation. Read a book. Contact NLB at 6332-3255 for more details.


If anyone else has any announcements they can think of, please feel free to add them here.

Friday was best!

Those of you who read my rant about the stupid camp comedy fest at Zouk a few weeks ago will understand my elation when I say - I saw Kumar on Friday!

Not just saw him, I got to go on stage, dirty dance with him, punch him in the arm and hear him tell me I am very articulate.

Sigh... I so happy.

The evening started out ordinarily enough. The wonderful man I am married to actually came all the way to the mrt station with a more club worthy outfit for me, which I changed in the MRT bathroom like some demented Superman. Casual Friday jeans and polo shirt just dont cut it when you are going to see the Diva of Drag!


Interesting side note - When you try and get people to meet you in the train (i.e hop in), unless you pick very easy and obvious spots like last carriage, last door, most people have no idea how to do this.
E.g, I tell Shanker green carriage from the back, second door, and the dear boy gets on at the 3rd door from the back. And I tell goke the same thing, and she cant even be bothered to walk towards me, even though she is only 2 doors away. Oh well...

Gold Dust

Albeit the pseudo seedy location (back of Orchard Towers), Gold Dust is actually quite a nice looking club. I love the dramatic stage, with the running lights and plush velvet curtains and gold trim. The podium is a lot less understated that the monstrocity at Zouk, and the waiters are oh so adorable. This one guy gave us prime front row seats, even though we did nothing to deserve it. I tipped him when it was my shout, just for that lovely smile he gave me. Spend it well, my friend.

The cabaret was good, not great, just good. I am probably spoilt by the spectacular shows that the queens put on at Options (top drag cabaret club in Brisbane.) Grogeous Nina of course was as funny as, (she and her sotong jokes, like sambal belachan, every show must have) and Kumar's tiny little cameo with that gay anthem (I will always love you) had us all spell bound. So tragic.

But the highlight of course was the second set, which was Kumar, Kumar and more Kumar. He is indeed the consummate perfomer and entertainer. Choice quotes are as follows:

To noisy heckler in the crowd - Shut up Bitch! People are working here!
To large group of office drunks - you all not bad ah, bring Indian people along also
To large Indian woman (who will go unnamed)- the North and South Pole ok, but the problem is the big equator around.
To drunk ang moh man trying to pick him up, thinking he was a woman - What do you think this is(pointing to adam's apple)? My ovaries?

I wish I could have gathered up the guts when Shanker asked if I would like to speak to him after the show. But alas, I did not have them. The guts. But next time, next time, I will. I think.

Island Life

Today is the day! For the next three days, I will be sitting around in shorts, with sand in my shoes, and a chance to finally think about absolutely nothing.

This will be my first break in 8 months (NOT counting the CNY holidays which everyoine got!) and I will be glad to get away from work a while and just hang out. I think I have forgotten how to do that.

Will fill you in when I get back...

Everything is Beautiful

So I had a good chat with my GM about my recent spate of "unforgivable" mistakes and he said that it was, in ah_neh's words,"Jujube". So everything is ok now, I longer feel like flushing my head in the toilet bowl. Thanks to all my friends indeed, u know who you are!

As shal (my 16 y.o. genius cousin) pointed out, sometimes this perfectionist thing is learned behaviour, taught by family, school and soceity. So maybe a little un-learning is in order.

Speaking of unlearning, I recently had a Joshua Tree moment reading about dvorak keyboards.
Click here to read my dvorak vs qwerty blog.

Well, I am gonna keep this post short. I have a hot date tonight - dinner at the Olive Tree and then - who knows? ;-)

Full report tomorrow.

The Quest for Perfection


Somewhere along the way, someone has instilled in us this fear for error and imperfection.

We strive to be perfect in all that we do, so that we will be beyond the reproach of our friends, family and colleagues. And most importantly ourselves.

I made a grave mistake today. I ordered a product for a customer that I beleived had all the features she needed. Turns out it didnt have the one feature she needed the most.

The supplier does not accept returns. So I have to take it back and try to sell it. But its possible I won't be able to. Then it will come straight out of my bottom line.

And everything I tried so hard to acheive the last 2 months will mean nothing.

Am I expecting too much of myself when I expect my work to be mistake-free? Everyone I spoke to said things like, " Human beings make mistakes", and "It happens" and "Let's worry about how to fix it later".

But I feel like I have let myself down. And that I really suck at sales. Just the smallest slip can mean that you don't meet your sales target and can undo all you have done. So there is no room for errors.

The world demands perfection. We want the people who build bridges, erect skyscrapers and fly planes to be perfect in their work. Or people die. So where is the room for, "to err is human"?

I did something naughty yesterday. I was sitting in the train next to this man who was the slowest SMS-er in the world, and was eavesdropping on his sms conversations. heh heh heh.

This man had issues. I mean, I have sent some pretty mundane SMSes in my day, but his really took the cake.

He sms-ed his wife to tell her (in romanised Tamil) that he got a good seat on the train. Corner facing door. Well, hooray for you.

He smsed his son/ daughter to ask where they were and when they will be back.

He smsed his friend or someone to say that he will meet them at the coffeeshop at 9 as usual. Man looked like a togo warrior. If you will meet them as usual, no need to SMS already lah.

Then his son/daughter smsed back to say she was still with her counsellor (hmmm.. mental illness? maybe.)

He started typing out a reply to "tell him about your disobedience", then changed his mind and deleted that message.

That's it! The whole journey from Jurong to Woodlands, with constant typing, thats all the messages he was able to send. The man gets my award for slowest SMS-er.

There are a few constant things that people do in the MRT when their mobile phone rings.
One, they stare at the screeching phone for the longest time, trying to recognise the number. The more terok the ringtone, the longer they stare. (If you answer the phone, there's a higher chance of knowing who is calling, agreed?)

Two, the first question they answer seems to be "where are you?" because they always give out that info first. "I have 3 more stops." I am between Khatib and Yio Chu Kang." This has to be a habit formed when pple just got mobiles, and you never knew where they were.

Three, when they end the call, they always look at their phone for a few mins in puzzlement before they put it away. Like they don't know what it is, or why they were holding it. Maybe its true, the radiation from handphones DOES cause memory loss.


Just watch next time someone's phone rings in the train and see if you spot the above steps. There may be a 10% variance, but its all there.

Sigh. It's one of those days where you wish you can just throw caution to the wind, grab your passport, pack a few essentials and catch the first plane to anywhere.

I miss my boss. I got noone to bitch to about the million things that niggle at me. How can she be so selfish and go off and give birth at a time like this?

I so need that chalet by the beach holiday in June. Can't beleive that it will be another 10 days before that happens! And then, somebody promised to take me clubbing to see Kumar on the 16th. Hope this time he bloody shows up! (Kumar, not the someone)

I just need to get through this miserable error-ridden week.

You can do this, Nal!!!

10 things you never knew about me

1)I learnt classical Indian dance (barathanatyam) for 12 years.

2) I have only ever had 6 boyfriends in my life, and I think I only truly loved one of them.

3) I have a seven minute attention span on any one topic. Beyond that, I will either change the subject or pretend to see someone I know and walk away.

4) I check out other women all the time. Not because I swing that way, or have any tendencies. I just think we are beautiful.

5) My pet peeve is tardiness. I hate waiting for people. Especially we have already made an appointment, for Pete's sake. We have mobile phones. You can call.

6) My favourite movie of all time is "The Fisher King", starring Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges. Check it out, its way cool.

7) I can't poo unless I read. If I don't have a book, I read labels, or instructions on the shampoo bottle.

8)I think my worse feature is my big hooked nose. Its big, unfeminine and gets in the way when I kiss someone.

9) If I wasn't in marketing, I think I would be a professional traveller - like Ian Wright.

10) Lastly, my face is thinner than my body. So most pple who think I look good in mug shots are sorely disappointed when they see me in RL. I can see it on your faces, people. Don't lie to make me feel better.

My Saturday at the Polyclinic.

I know. It sounds like the kind of title your teacher made you write compositions about when you were in primary four, except for the one little detail. Polyclinics are seldom associated with relaxing gambols, sumptuous food, lazy hours passed in ennui and finally sheer teeth clenching boredom, until someone decides, "Enough of this crap, its time to go home".

My Saturday morning at Woodlands Polyclinic had all these elements and more. The reason for the occasion - Hanan, my six year old had been nursing a bad cold, and was beginning to sound like a 50 year old with a 20-a-day habit. It was time to get the throat checked out.

We got there at 9:30. The flashing LED board said "Waiting time for walk-ins, approx 2hrs 15 mins". Fool that I was, I didn't beleive them.

After waiting 30 mins to get the freakin' room number, my son and I decided to go across the street to Teh Tarik Eating House to get a milo dinosaur and a prata. We took our time eating, but we were done by 10:30. (six year olds don't laze as well as adults, I reckon. He was raring to go).

From 10:30 to 11:30, we did the following:-
- played in the playground (15 mins)
- used the bathroom (5 mins)
- read a short book (5 mins)
- read a longer book (5.5 mins)
- Played a few rounds of UNO (10 Mins)
- held each other and rocked (35 mins)

Its really, really hard to kill an hour at the polyclinic. I am told war is like that too. Long periods of boredom followed by short bursts of excitement.

Finally, it happened. No 2308. Time check 11:30.

Time check 11:35. We are downstairs at the pharmacy waiting for medication, which took another 30 mins.

Somewhere in that 5 mins, we entered a room, exchanged pleasantries with Dr Premdevi, got Hanan examined, diagnosed with swollen tonsils and got prescribed medication. It all happened so quickly, I did not even register it. 2 hour wait for a 2 min examination - am I the only one who thinks there is something wrong with this picture?

Oh, and to end this entry in true Pri 4 compo mode - we went home, tired but happy.

All the more reason I will ask for good health above wealth or riches. 2 hours to get healed just ain't right.

Conspiracy Theory


Recently I read a book about a Catholic Church conspiracy theory. This guy and his girlfriend stumble upon a secret scroll which would allow a group of gnostics to gain control of the Church and its policies. The guy then consults his friends, who are experts in their fields to decipher the contents of this scroll. Turns out one of the friends is actually a mole, an undercover agent for the secret organisation who would have killed the guy if he did not destroy him, and the scroll first.

Hmmm... sounds familar. Where else have I read a similar story?

You see, the book that I read is called "The Book of Q" by Johnathan Rabb. Not the much-popularised and , in some circles, feared, "Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown.

You can read the review of the book here:
http://www.bookreporter.com/reviews/060960483X.asp

Now, I don't know who plagiarised who, but the plot lines and the general conspiracy of the stories are very similar. Secret cult that broke away from the Church. Fallen Hero doing his best. Secret codes. Redemption of the truth. Exotic locations.Churches with secret runes and carvings.

The difference is this - one was written in 2001, way before Mel Gibson produced "The Passion of Christ". Da Vinci Code was written in 2004, when plans to release "The Passion" at Easter 2005 were already put forth.

The devil is a copycat. He does not have one creative bone in his body. His only talent is that he can copy what God makes, pervert it with half truths and hold the largest marketing campaign possible for his "creation", so everybody hears about it.

So obviously, the best way to smear the name of Jesus is to copy the idea and fund his own deviation cinema, i.e "Da Vinci Code".

I am not gonna blame Dan Brown, call him the anti-Christ or anything like that. He is just a guy who provided the devil with the right tool at the right time.

Jonathan Rabb, on the other hand, who had put as much research and work into his book, released it before the devil could use it for damage.

But my point folks, is that books like the Da Vinci Code, are not uncommon. Conspiracy theories thrive where there is fear.

Just found out yesterday that one of my best friends at work has tendered his resignation. Which brings my total fren count at work down to 3.

Sigh, why do people have to move on and things have to change? Granted, I didn't see him all that much, since he is sales and is away most of the day. But knowing that his friendly face is around and I can bitch and moan to him when he is around was good enough for me.

Glenn, you will be missed. I hope I get to see you at church at least.

Short post today. I am too melancholic to talk too much.

What a crappy disappointment the Camp Comedy show was. I can't beleive that sponsors actually gave money to an event that was so badly organised and with such lousy acts. Unless you are a full blown fag hag, or a die hard groupie who wanted to support any kind of alternative entertainment, this show was a complete let down.

For one thing, the star of the show didn't even show up. Yes, Kumar was no where to be found, and for people like me and my cousin, who were there only to see him, it was an aggravating mistake. Especially after Irene Ang's constant references to his act, even quoting his lines. I wonder if he is ok with people using his name to advertise an event he didn't even play at. Or does Fly Entertainment own his ass, and they can do anything they want..

Secondly, the 3 acts that did grace the stage were, at best, mediocre. Rick Lau is a good performer and has a great voice, but so much of his act was in Cantonese, that he just about lost me.

Broadway Beng gave more of his stage time to Irene Ang's dad, who decided that by offering Sebastian (B.Beng) a beer, he could pretty much do anything. So he took over and decided to sing, and Sebastian let him take up about 5 mins of the 20 min segment. If I wanted to hear someone's drunk dad sing, I would have gone to my father's house. Man did have a good voice though.

Again, most of Broadway Beng's act was in Hokkien, so I "liak bo kiu". Next time a show has that much Chinese in it, can tell us first or not? Then the rest of us non-elite Chinese people can go Ashoka instead right?

And the last act, Lounge-zilla, which was supposed to be this wonderful act from the US that "people were dying to see again" and "came back a second time for" - sucked.

His over-the-top diva actress was weak and insipid, his jokes too far removed from local context, his drag act barely making it. And what's with the flowers attached to your crotch??? What the hell was that supposed to mean? It was crass,crude and common.

All in all, it was a disappointment. Fly Entertainment owes us all an apology for daring to put up something that horrendously amateur and then having the gall to charge us $42 for it.

I drank my very expensive gin and tonic (if you consider that's all the ticket was good for)and left as soon as the dumb foreign act exited. The door bitch at Zouk still had the nerve to ask,"Aren't you staying on to party?" I glared at him and in my coldest voice, said, "Stay for what? See Irene's dad dance on the podium ah?"

Wah Lau.

Heh heh.

I is going to watch Kumar at Zouk on Sunday. I haven't been there in about oooo... 3 years I think (Nadia, when were you here last, girl?) And I haven't seen Kumar since his stage autobiographical one man play last July. It will be good.

(Incidentally, a choice moment from that play was when he was taking questions from the audience, and some retard asked him why he didn't join the Miss Vasantham pageant. His retort was caustic, sarcastic and and oh-so-Kumar, "Cos I still have my ding dongs, you ding dong! Next!")

Work is getting more exciting, with Joyce (manager) on maternity Joyce Eric
and Eric (GM) taking over the Supervision of Nalinee (good album title eh, like emancipation of Mimi). I have to adjust to his management style, which is about 160 degrees removed from Joyce's. For one thing, I am expected to think more and delegate the task, where previously I was the delegatee.

Ugh.

Sit Still!

So today I tried to practise what was preached and decided to not get excited or ruffled by all the Monday madness and just "maintain balance". I decided to throw away everything that was too drama and just do the things that were actually within my control.

And you know what? It works. When people see that you are not getting ruffled, they tend to stay calm too, and so much more gets done. Although it looks like u are being less busy.

I think that if more of us learned how to sit still, we will also learn to walk better. Cos u cut out on all the unnecessary walking.

Does this make sense to anyone else?

Today is the 58th anniversary of the nation of Israel - a nation that noone thought will ever exist again, and against all odds, not only was formed, but survived. It is the Holy Land, which houses a holy people. (Coming from the old meaning of "holy". which is separated, set apart). And they are a people who after years of wandering, learned how to sit still. And how well they sit, inspite of the best efforts of their enemies.

If I don't teach my kid anything else, I must teach him the value of sitting and taking stock. Of looking within himself for answers, and for keeping cool.

So, chill, y'all!

I have decided to revive this blog, although the last post was a shameful 1 year ago. Why, I hear you ask. (or not ask as the case maybe, shame on me for listening to you and thinking that blogging is a waste of time!)

I think I want a place to just write about stuff that bugs me. Those of you who have been reading my myspace blog know that thats quite focused on being uplifting encouraging and knowing who I am with God. But I need a place for the drivel, the blah, the mundane and monstrous.

Y'know?

Also, I think I want to pay homage to some of the bloggers (local, no less) who have inspired me - Rockson, you , er, rock, Ah-neh, blinkymummy and of course the Godfathers of Blogging - Brown and Miyagi.

So as I enter the fray again, I hope I will stay inspired and keep it up. Who knows, this time, it may last , oooh, 3 weeks?

Hahahahah!

OK, what it is about chat that is so addictive?

I spent 2 hours in chat today and have accomplished the following:-

Had an argument with soemone about faith vs inventing God and making urslef beleive in him.(A truce was declared in the face of our fingers got tired)

Flirted shamelessly with a 61 year old man with a gyp leg

Discussed Uma Thurman and her fine..er...self with other straight women who did not look at you funny.

Got a recipe for Tuna casserole

Found out that buckinghamshire is NOT where the Buckingham Palace is.A fact that everyone ELSE in the world knows.

Tomorrow,I will deal with real pple.

Heres the history of our medicine.

"I have a sore throat."
2000 BC : "eat this root"
1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir."
1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic."
2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont you eat this root."

This extremely ironic yet truthful glance of "alternative" medicine is provided courtesy of a chat user nicknamed egger on one of my favourite websites http:/bash.org


Ever feel like you are just going in circles? You are not the only one.

The Idea of Human Suffering

I had a fascinating discussion today with a net friend about human suffering. He said that growing up in the West, he beleived in the idea of rights, that everyone had the right to basic neccesities etc.

It was only after researching the idea by studying Afghani refugees did he realise that basic needs may not be that basic after all. He said, "just shows me that the right to life and pursuit of happiness is a human idea."

Do we actually look at happiness as the same for everyone. Pastor said recently prosperity is not dependant on how much u have in your bank balance, but how much of your needs are met.I did a quick run down of what my needs are and guess what, I am well on my way to prosperity -Hallelujah!

Good Husband-Check
Good Kid -Check
Healthy -Check
Well fed- And how!!
Roof over head - Not as much as I would like, but ok


So all I need now is money to take a good holiday and take all my friends out to eat and I will be the most prosperous girl in this country.

So go ahead, you casino table players and try and get rich quick.See you if you will be as prosperous as I feel today.

Muahahahaha

Its Thursday, which means its bible study night.So there will be just this short half hearted post.

i want to be a writer.
i dont wanna be a star.
i want to do my own thing.
it doesnt have to take me far.

i just want those who know me
to love me, and not judge me.
Not hold me up to some ideal
they have in their own heads.

Of what a person like me
is, should or should not be.
i just want to write of what
is inherent in me.

Yup, that's it.

FOr a long time I doubted my right to have a say on John Paul and his works because I am not catholic.

But the recent essay by Orson Scott Card on his website www.ornery.org has given me a boldness to note my 2 cents worth here. Well, that and a comment my 5 y old made while watching one of the many tribute tv programmes to the life of JPII.

He watched the show silently with me, perking up only when Jesus Christ is mentioned, because while he knew Jesus, he had no idea who the Pope was. But at the end of the show, he said,' Wow that was a nice man, huh ,mummy? So good." And just as I was smiling with parental pride , he slammed me with," I think maybe he is as good as Jesus."

If a 5 year old child could see that JPII was a man who lived by the ideals of love, joy and peace that our Saviour taught, why did so many adults have a problem with it? Onthe other hand, was his observation of the Pope as someone "as good as Jesus", taking away the glory and adoration that should only be to our Lord and Saviour. It boggled my mind for a while, and I would be intersted to hear what anyone else thinks.

Ok, this blog is now going to head in a new direction , due to personal interest in the subject and the constant nagging of a very good (albeit persistent) friend.

I dedicate this blog to all the great writers who have ever touched my heart, evolved my mind or passed through my hands.

Oh..

And Edgar Allan Poe, for reminding me of what NOT to write about.